Saturday, January 9, 2010

Two Parts Wry NFL Playoff Preview

Let's pick the wild card round.  We will not be applying any analysis of team quality.  We will simply be picking the team that we hate the least.  As a true football fan, I hate all of the other teams in the league.

Jets at Bengals:  I hate the Bengals because they are a division rival.  Also, you gotta keep a dog in it's place.  I hate the Jets because they are a team that makes the playoffs every few years with crap talent.  I hate the Bengals more.  GO J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS!

Eagles at Cowboys: The Cowboys are a super bowl rival owned by a Lizard faced asshole.  The Eagles are cross state rival and have a history of beating Ben Roethlisberger to within an inch of his life.  Hate the Cowboys a lot more.  Go Eagles.

Ravens at Patriots:  The toughest call of the weekend.  The Ravens are another hated division rival.  They used to be the Browns, which means you get to hate them twice as much.  Ray Lewis prances around like an ostrich having a seizure.  The Patriots cheated their way past Pittsburgh in two AFC title games.  I don't think that either team will make it past the next round.  I can only hope for career ending injuries on both sides.  The division hatred wins out.  Mildly hope for a New England victory.

Packers at Cardinals:  Green Bay plays in the god foresaken winter wasteland that is Wisconsin.  The Cardinals are coached by an ex-Steeler assistant and enjoy signing away our free agents.  Aaron Rodgers has been very good to me in fantasy football.  Go Packers!

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