Sunday, September 29, 2013

The Power Wry 2013, back from a just cause penalty!

The eye in the sky does not lie!
The Power Rye, or Power Wry, depending on my mood and state of sobriety, is the most accurate ranking of college football available.  Each week, I feed all of the facts, figures, stats, scores and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix.  A day or so later, I pinch off a post.

This weeks Power Wry is brought to you by Colonel Stagg Jr.  Cask Strength and fantastic at 50/50 whiskey/water.

  1. Clemson (4-0) Defeated Wake Forest 31-24.  ACC!  ACC!  Do you see how annoying that is hillbillies?
  2. Oregon (4-0) Defeated Cal Late, I mean 55-16.  Fucking newspapers.  That's a lot of points for a game played on Noah's Ark.
  3. Ohio State (5-0) Defeated Wisconsin 31-24.  I was there.  All other scores are hear-say.
  4. Miami (4-0) Defeated South Florida 49-21.  I'll be impressed when you score 80 on FAMU.
  5. Alabama (4-0) Defeated Mississippi 25-0.  SEC pity fuck.
  6. Florida State (4-0) Defeated BC 48-24.  ACC!  ACC!  Do you see how annoying that is hillbillies?
  7. Stanford (4-0) Defeated Washington State 55-17.  That railroad money is finally paying off.  (Nothing Like It In The World by Stephen A. Ambrose is a fantastic book.)
  8. Oklahoma! (4-0) Defeated Our Lady of Sucks 35-21.
  9. UCLA (3-0) Did not Play and that douche Kiffen got fired.  Well done sir.  Well done.
  10. Texas Arts & Crafts (4-1) Defeated Arkansas 45-33.  Johnny Hangover takes down the Golgothan.