Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wry Slamma Jamma: Rick Pitino is a wookie

Louisville has a chance.
Because wookies rip off the opposing coaches arms when they lose in the final four.
I suggest a new strategy Calipari.  Let the wookie win.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

NFL Levels Unjust Punishment for Bounties

Lost a midst the hoopla surrounding the stiff penalties leveled on the New Orleans Saints today, was the on and off and on again penalty leveled against New York Jets Head Coach Rex Ryan for the bounty program he ran in Baltimore.  Years ago, Ravens Fluke-man turned Linebacker Terrell Suggs bragged about a bounty program that they Ravens Defense had on Hines Ward.  As punishment, Ryan's current team will have to forfeit a 4th & 6th Round draft pick, plus endure at least one season of Tebowmania. 
I'm gonna get you Hines!
Commissioner Roger Goodell: "Bounty activity has no place in the NFL.  The penalty could have been harsher.  If they had actually ever managed to knock that grin off of Ward's face; we would have added Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocino to their rosters.  Ask the Bengals how a year like that feels."
Can you throw?
You'll fit right in.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Hail Hath No Fury Martini

The sirens were going off on Sunday evening; the local weather guys were all a-flutter, and we got a shit load of rain in an hour.  Funny thing.  An hour after everything calmed down, giant hail stones started falling from the sky.  I did the only sensible thing.  Grabbed a couple, made a drink, and assumed that this is all the Mayan's fault.

Hail Hath No Fury Martini

2 oz Hayman's Tom Gin.
1/2 oz Cochi Vermouth Americano
float a few hail stones, aka ice

    Saturday, March 17, 2012

    Redbreast 12 Irish Whiskey

    It's Saint Patrick's Day again, and while all of the amateurs are out drinking green beer and going to jail, I am sitting at home, watching March Madness and sipping on a fine Irish Whiskey.

    This year's whiskey is Redbreast 12.  As my Great-Great-Grandma McFarland, whom I never met used to say: "It is the shit."  A little bit sweet.  A little bit spicy.  All of the meaningless adjectives that you get in a whiskey review on a dumb-ass site like this.  In other words. a fine whiskey. Sláinte!

    The name Redbreast sounds odd to my ears.  But it is better than the distilleries original name Slap-Tit.

    Wednesday, March 14, 2012

    Glenfiddich 12. Glenfiddich 15. Glenfiddich 18.

    Glenfiddich has a nice sampler pack containing three 200 ml bottles for around $50.  It doesn't quite add up to your standard 750 ml bottle, but the 12 year sells for around $40 on it's own, so it's not a bad deal.

    I have been pretty anti-scotch on the blog, but I am finding that as I go back to whisky's that are not heavily peated, it can be quite tasty.  I think that the Islay style of scotch is similar to the big, smokey trend in dark beers these days.  It's an interesting flavor, but I don't want to drink a lot of it.  Actually, I don't want to drink any of it.

    Anyway, back to the tiered flight.  I find the 12 year to be honey sweet, with some leather and a hint of mint and oak.  It is aged in new American and Spanish oak.

    The 15 year has similar flavors, but they are more subtle.  It is aged in sherry, bourbon and new oak barrels and put together in an Oregon pine Solera vat.  I'm a huge fan of Solera aged spirits and this one does not disappoint.

    The 18 is aged in Spanish Oloroso Sherry and American Oak.  It is slightly smokey and has more oak.  It is only 80 proof, but a little bit of water does open it up a bit giving a slight apple flavor.

    This was a fun tasting (at least it was for me) in which you get to see the difference that age, and the types of barrels can make in a single malt.  The good and bad news is that I am back into Scotch.  Good for my taste buds, bad for my wallet.  I think that the 15 is my favorite, but the 12 is very drinkable and also highly recommended if you are budget conscious.  The 18 is not bad, but surprisingly less complex than the 15.

    Saturday, March 3, 2012

    Gentleman Jack

    You won't ever see a review for Jack Daniel's on this site.  Why is that you ask?  Because Jack is the one that sent me over the edge many years ago.  Just like many of you won't acknowledge that tequila is a fine spirit because of the 20 shooters you did that one time in college.  I have a similar tale with me and Jack.  Work retreat; bathtub full of beer.  Someone at the end of the night pours a glass to the rim with Jack and offers it to my friend.  "I won't drink it, but Jim will."  I chugged it.  I shouldn't have.  (And fuck you very much Anne for pouring it and Chad for setting me up)  For those of you who have never experienced it, thanks to Jack (and the beers prior to Jack) I can assure you that the dry heaves are not a myth.  They are oh-so-real.  I have to say that I did tough it out the next day and played 18.  I also shot 200.

    All of this wonderful imagery brings me to Gentleman Jack, a premium version of Jack Daniel's.  It's actually pretty tasty.  Kind of a nutty flavored bourbon, or I guess I should say Tennessee Whiskey.  Pay close attention dear reader because I know the secret of Gentleman Jack's superior flavor.  My wife's-father's-mother's-sister's-son's-wife's-sister's-husband used to work for Jack Daniel's tells me that the secret ingredient is that they added sugar during bottling.  The best part of that little anecdote.  It's not bullshit.