Cucapá Tequila Barrel Aged Ale

Wow!  It is a rare occasion when you can say that I've never had anything like this before, and you can also say that it is good.  It is a barley wine aged in tequila barrels, apparently it's the first tequila barrel aged beer.  Let me tell you, it's something special.

It's sweet, but not sugary.  There is of course agave and some lime in the flavor and oddly enough cola, with a bit of bitterness in the finish.  It's a tough one to describe, other than it tastes really good.  And, since it's a barley wine.  I'm feeling quite happy.

This is the first beer that I have reviewed in 4 months, and only the third in the last year and a half.  That should say something right there.  Let me tell, you, I've drank a lot of beers not worth writing about.

Ransom Old Tom Gin

What is an Old Tom Gin?  It's another "authentic" reproduction of a gin that used to be popular in ye olden times.  I have a couple of them in my bar and one of the consistent things about them is that they are sweeter than your typical London Dry.

This gin is cool for several different reasons.  It is partially made from a whiskey base, instead of a pure neutral spirit. It is also barrel aged.  It has your normal juniper, orange, coriander notes, along with a lot of cardamon and hint of sugar in the finish.  It costs $40 dollars and is a craft spirit worth the extra cash.

I am currently sipping on a variation of an Ephemeral Cocktail.

The Super Bowl is Harbaugh Free Cocktail.

• Two Shots Ransom Old Tom Gin
• 1/2 Shot Cocchi Vermouth Di Torino
• 1/2 Shot St. Germaine
• Several Dashes of Fees Grapefruit Bitters

Woodford Reserve 1838 Sweet Mash

In my review of Woodford's Rare Rye, I mentioned that I had noticed a trend in the flavor of the master's distiller's collection.  There is an unpleasant leather flavor to these whiskeys that I just don't like.

The Sweet Mash is an interesting concept.  If you look at your typical bottle of bourbon, it will say sour mash, that is because the yeast used to make that whiskey has some history.  They use yeast from the previous batch to make the next batch, creating an awesome bourbon family-tree-time-machine that has a somewhat acidic ph, hence sour mash.  This whiskey was made with a brand new culture, and is therefore a sweet mash.

All I know is that I bought this bourbon last year, check that, two years ago, in Clarksville just before the Steelers laid the wood on the Titans.  It cost $120 and tastes like leather with a touch of honey and basically sucks.

The Power Wry 2012 Wrap-up

I guess Alabama is the champ.  Since Auburn didn't collect their trophy last year.  You can have their's.  I hope that you don't mind that it is engraved with Auburn's motto of "Roll Tide".  Awkward.

What did we learn from the bowls?  Hint.  Not much.

• Gildan New Mexico Bowl: Temple Defeated Wyoming 37-15, becoming the Buck-Buck champions of 2012.
• Famous Idaho Potato Bowl: Ohio Defeated Utah St. 24-23, Ohio won.  Brady Hoke is confused.  It's like the time where he tried to figure out the difference between ham and spam.
• R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl: Marshall Defeated Florida Intl 20-10.  It's about time we kicked Florida out of the union.
• San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl: TCU Defeated Louisiana Tech 31-24.
• MAACO Las Vegas Bowl: Boise St. Defeated Arizona St. 56-24.
• Sheraton Hawaii Bowl: Southern Miss Defeated Nevada 24-17.  Thank god we don't have to pay attention to Paris Sheraton any longer.
• Advocare V100 Independence: Bowl Missouri Defeated North Carolina 41-24.  Is that a boner pill?
• Little Caesar's Bowl: Purdue Defeated W Michigan 37-32.  Preview of next years MAC Championship game.
• BELK Bowl: NC State Defeated Louisville 31-24.  BELK is like suet, only classier.
• Milatary Bowl: Presented By Northrop Grumman Toledo Defeated Air Force 42-41.  Your tax dollars at work.  Muah-ha-ha-ha-cough-ha.
• Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl: Texas Defeated California 21-10.  And we learned nothing.
• Champs Sports Bowl: Florida St Defeated Notre Dame 18-14.  And I'm only up to December 29th.  Fingers starting to ache.  Better take my rheumatiz medicine.  Also, Notre Dame sucks.
• Alamo Bowl: Baylor Defeated Washington 67-56.  I had no idea that George Washington was killed at the Alamo.  See, you learn something new every day.
• Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl: BYU Defeated Tulsa 24-21.  Once again, your tax dollars at work.  Muah-ha-ha-ha-cough-ha.
• New Era Pinstripe Bowl: Rutgers Defeated Iowa St 27-13.  Shitty game, snappy looking suit.
• Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl: Miss St. Defeated Wake Forest 23-17.  Can we foreclose on this bowl.
• Insight Bowl: Oklahoma Defeated Iowa 31-14.  Here's some insight, Kurt Ferentz is overrated.
• Meineke Care Care Bowl of Texas: Texas A&M Defeated Northwestern 33-22.  Thank you Northwestern for being the one thing we can count on in these uncertain times.  A Northwestern bowl loss.
• Hyundai Sun Bowl: Utah Defeated Georgia Tech 30-27.  And Kim Jong Il is dead.
• Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl Illinois Defeated UCLA 20-14.  Could have renamed it the Kraft Your Coach Just Got Fired Bowl.
• Autozone Liberty Bowl: Cincinnati Defeated Vanderbilt 31-24.  Zip em up.
• Chick fil-A Bowl:  Auburn Defeated Virginia 43-24.  Needs more hot sauce.
• TicketCity Bowl: Houston Defeated Penn St 30-14.  The real reason that LaVarr Arrington has taken down his Penn State swag.
• Taxslayer.com Gator Bowl: Florida Defeated Ohio State 24-17.  Nothing to see here.
• Outback Bowl: Michigan State Defeated Georgia 33-30.  Michigan State = Clutch
• Capital One Bowl: South Carolina Defeated Nebraska 30-13.  Man the Big 12 Sucks.
• Rose Bowl Presented by Vizio: Oregon Defeated Wisconsin 45-38.  The last hold out sold out.  You couldn't hold out for Sony?
• Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma State Defeated Stanford 41-38.  Welcome back to your proper place Stanford.
• Allstate Sugar Bowl: Michigan Defeated Virginia Tech 23-20  Brady Hoke was disappointed that it wasn't the High Fructose Corn Syrup Bowl.
• Discover Orange Bowl: West Virginia Defeated Clemson 70-33.  More points than teeth.
• AT&T Cotton Bowl: Arkansas Defeated Kansas St 29-16.
• BBVA Compass Bowl: SMU Defeated Pitt 28-6.  Damn you Tebow.  Oh, wrong Pitt.
• Godaddy.com Bowl: Northern Illinois Defeated Arkansas St 30-28.
• Allstate BCS National Championship Alabama Defeated LSU 21-0.  SEC goes down hard in their first nation title loss.
• BS National Title Game: LSU vs Oklahoma St. cancelled due to lack of snow, and teams.

Boomer Esiason Offends Chihuahua-Americans by comparing them to crappy Jets QB

Earlier today, Broadcaster, and former Jets quarterback Boomer Esiason created a controversy by comparing Chihuahuas to current jets QB Mark Sanchez, stating "If you watched Mark Sanchez the last month of the season, he was like a chihuahua standing on Madison Avenue and 36th Street entering the Midtown Tunnel, eyes bigger than you-know-what, and just so shaky."  The Taco Bell dog has issued a series of statements on behalf of all of those wronged little rats, I mean dogs.

• First things first.  When we get shaky, we crap in Gucci & Gabbana purse, not down our legs like that guy.
• Do you think a Chihuahua would take that shit from Santonio Holmes.  I would gnaw his ankle so hard, he'd need a second blunt for breakfast to forget the pain.
• The only thing that we have in common with Mark Sanchez, is that we both know what Paris Hilton's snatch smells like.  Why am I suddenly in a mood for a Snausage?
• You better sleep with one eye open Norman.

Wry Slamma Jamma: The mother ship has dropped a load in Bloomington

A little time in the sun and some "Just for Hynerian" hair
coloring won't fool me you shifty alien scum.

Clément Créole Shrubb

Back in the day, I did an orange liqueur challenge, reviewing triple sec, cointreau, and Citron Patronage in different cocktails.  Since then, I have used Grand Marnier in many cocktails, and I have also reviewed D.O.M. Benedictine and buried it on the chick shelf.  I'm happy to say that I've found my 80 proof orange mixer.

Needless to say, this review is assuming that you have actually drunk a few drinks.

It' not crazy spicy like like the D.O.M.  It's not nearly as sweet as Grand Marnier or any of the other Curacao's that I have tried.

It's just right, which is saying something with liqueurs.  In summary.

• Clément Créole Shrubb is the shit.
• All that other shit is just shit.  This shit, is the shit.

Power Rye: The Whole James Harrison Thing

I've been stewing on this topic for 3 weeks now.  I've thought about making many of the following points/rants.  It's going to be a rant.

• The NFL is getting too pussed up, but I'm hooked on it like crack and can't give up my first love.
• Dear Colt McCoy, next time, do what Manning did for 12 years and duck.
• Screw Roger the Clown.
• Screw Mike Greenberg and everyone else at ESPN.
• Dear James, I'm with you, but feel free to start popping spleens and puncturing lungs instead of ringing bells.  The man has beat us down.

I'm going to vent the last of my frustration against ESPN and the whole LOL tweet debacle.  First of all, they cherry picked the scariest image that they could find to put next to hist tweet, but why not use his actual twitter image?  Because it doesn't fit the story that they want to sell!

What a monster.

Woodford Reserve Rare Rye

This year's Woodford Reserve's Masters Collection brings you not one, but two Rye whiskeys.  One aged in a new barrel, and another aged in a used rye barrel.  (Technically the used barrel is not legally a rye whiskey, but who gives a shit.)  Both are loved by frakking cylons?

This is the second time that I've tried one of the masters collections.  The other was the sweet mash, which I was so annoyed with, due to price and suckiness, I have not taken the time to review it.  Yet.  You're times coming.  The point is, yes there is a point, these rye's has a bit of the same leathery flavor that comes through in that bourbon.  I'm not sure if the other collections share this trait.

These both must be pretty good.  When I took my first sips earlier this evening, I really liked the New Cask and thought that the Aged Cask tasted like a thin scotch. Now, I've flipped and find the aged to be quite nice.  The new cask has spice and citrus notes.  The aged cask is vanilla and dates.  All in all, good stuff.

Colonel E.H. Taylor Single Barrel

If you actually care about the history, link.  This whiskey is bottled in bond, which means that it has met certain government standards about how it was made and aged and it is bottled at 100 proof.  Most people don't know that there are also very specific standards in the actual work force.  Below is an image of your typical "bottled in bond" plant worker.

Much more effective than a hair net.  Fittingly, this is a rough tasting bourbon.  Very oaky and smokey.  And the high proof kind of kills your taste buds.  I had thoughts on the flavor at the beginning of the glass (not too shabby), but now it's all alcohol.  There is not really much point in recommending it or not recommending it because it's one of those limited runs that you either lucked into by now or it's too late.

The Power Wry 12-5-11 BS Ranking: Rematches suck

The Power Rye, or Power Wry, depending on my mood and state of sobriety, is the most accurate ranking of college football available.  Each week, I feed all of the facts, figures, stats, scores and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix.  Two days later, I pinch off a post.

1. LSU (13-0) Defeated Georgia 42-10.  Duh.
2. Oklahoma State (11-1) Defeated Oklahoma 44-10.  The BS Championship game will be in my back yard on January 9th at 7:00 EST, so folks can actually watch the game and still get up for work the next day.  If you guys do decide to show up, please send an e-mail or tweet so I can let my wife know that we are expecting company.
3. Alabama (12-1) Did not play.  Not well played.  -1.
4. Stanford (11-1) Did not play.  Pass.
5. Oregon (11-2) Defeated UCLA 49-31.  They had to beat the ugly friend since USC was grounded.
6. Wisconsin (11-2) Defeated Michigan State 42-39.  Winning the inaugural Big 10 (12) conference championship game and earning an Oscar nomination for best supporting not-really-a-football-player (punter).
7. South Carolina (9-2) Did not play. +1.  That's how you do it 'Bama.  The old ball coach still gots it.
8. USC (9-2) Grounded. -3.
9. Clemson (9-3) Any team that exposes (i.e. opens a can of whoop ass) Va. Tech twice in one year is alright with me.
10. Michigan (10-2)  I've had it with fucking bullshit conference pride.  We have Urban now.  Fuck you Michigan.  I'm going back to the good old days when I hated all other 9(10(11)) teams in the Big 10(11(12)). Go Hokies!  (You suck too)  Don't think that I forgot you Fucky.  Stanford by 20.

The Power Wry 11-28-11 BS Ranking: Urban Meyer is no Longer a Dick

We have reassessed the situation, and he has been reclassified as "Driven."  By we, I mean the royal we, as in that guy at Two Parts Rye is a royal asshole.

1. LSU (12-0) Defeated Arkansas 41-17.  No truth to the rumor that Bobby Petrino quit at halftime.  You can see how that rumor came about, because he is a big quitter.  As a matter of fact, he's quitting the top 10 this week.
2. Oklahoma State (10-1) Did not play.  You sneaky bastards.
3. Alabama (11-1) Defeated Auburn 42-14.  And no trees were harmed in the process.
4. Stanford (11-1) Defeated Notre Dame 28-14.  You should have hired Urban Meyer a few years ago. Oh yeah, he turned down the job.  Hmmm.
5. USC (9-2) Defeated UCLA by a whole bunch.  Sanctions, we don't need no stinking sanctions.  Really, we don't.
6. Houston (12-0) Defeated Tulsa 48-16.  Underachievers.
7. Oregon (10-2) Defeated Oregon State 49-21.  The Lewis vs Clark bowl.
8. South Carolina (9-2) Defeated Clemson 34-13.  Spurrier gave himself the game ball.  Again.
9. Michigan State (10-2) Defeated Northwestern 31-17.  Token Big 10(12) team.
10. Virginia Tech (11-1) Defeated Virginia 38-0.  Pollsters have put them in the top 5, which goes to show that this is the only ranking worth reading.

The Power Wry 11-21-11 BS Ranking

The Power Rye, or Power Wry, depending on my mood and state of sobriety, is the most accurate ranking of college football available.  Each week, I feed all of the facts, figures, stats, scores and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix.  Two days later, I pinch off a post.

1. LSU (11-0) Defeated Mississippi 52-3.  LSU actually took a knee with 5 minutes left in the game.  Love it.
2. Arkansas (10-1) Defeated Mississippi State 44-17.  Not a good week for ss-ss-pp.
3. Alabama (10-1) Defeated Georgia Southern 45-21.  You let a 1-AA team hang 21 on you.  You get leap-frogged.
4. Georgia (9-2) Defeated Kentucky 19-10.  Georgia leaps into the rankings.  I've ignored them all year because I remember the first 2 weeks of the season.  This week didn't help, but did you see the rest of the games?
5. South Carolina (9-2) Defeated The Citadel 41-20.  SEC East, just like your crappy conference, but warmer.
6. Houston (11-0) Defeated SMU 37-7.  I promised to drop you last week, and I really wanted to baby.  You know I did.  It's just that, the state of Oklahoma had a bad day.  You know I'll put you in your place next week, right?  Don't you baby?
7. 7-10 suspended due to give me a fucking break.

A Sad Sign of the Times

During this holiday season,please remember the needy.
Like Buckeye Hating Chris,World Wide Kev,the 6 Million Dollar Man,
and all the others who cannot find more Christmas Ale.

Philip Rivers is Muno

If you are at work, do not panic.
There are not two dildos on your screen.
There is a dildo and Muno from Yo Gabba Gabba.

The Power Rye 11-14-11 Ranking Bye-Bye-Boise

The Power Rye, or Power Wry, depending on my mood and state of sobriety, is the most accurate ranking of college football available.  Each week, I feed all of the facts, figures, stats, scores and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix.  Two days later, I pinch off a post.

1. LSU (10-0) Defeated Western Kentucky 42-9.  Western Kentucky is the very thin part of the state, otherwise known as the pencil dick of the south.  Or is that Spurrier's nickname?
2. Oklahoma State (10-0) Defeated Texas Tech 66-6.  Excuse me while I consult the book of revelations to see what this means.
3. Alabama (9-1) Defeated Mississippi State 24-7.  Here's a little behind-the-scenes on the ranking.  Sometimes I get stuck trying to come up with a smart-assed comment, and come back to that team or teams when I'm done.  I got nothing for this one and my drink is almost empty.  At least you learned something useless.
4. Oregon (9-1) Defeated Stanford 52-30.  Luck is a can't miss prospect, which means that the Colts will suck for 10 more years.
5. Oklahoma (8-1) Did not play.  As always +1.
6. Arkansas (9-1) Defeated Tennessee 49-7.  Penn State is sending representatives to UT to find out how you fill a 100k stadium year after year when you suck.
7. Clemson (9-1) Defeated Wake Forest 31-28.  I can't believe that I have an ACC team ranked this high, this late in the season.
8. Houston (10-0) Defeated Tulane 73-17.  73 points.  I like your style.  You can be my new Boise.  Next week, you will be ranked 9th.
9. South Carolina (9-2) Defeated Florida 17-12.  It could be worse Florida, you could have lost to Purdue.
10. Virginia Tech (9-1) Defeated Georgia Tech 37-26.  Seriously.  Two ACC teams.

Joe Flacco is Brobee

We continue to present evidence of the invasion of football by monsters.

Once again, this has absolutely nothing to do with the Steelers choking the game away against the Ravens.

Caorunn Scottish gin

Pronounced Ka-roon.

So what is scottish gin.  It's London Dry gin with...

One part rowan berry

One part heather

One part bog myrtle

One part dandelion

One part coul blush apple

It's actually quite pleasant.  It tastes a bit lighter than a London Dry, with some citrus flavor and a bit of sweetness.  It does not make me wince when I drink it neat, which is always a sign of a quality gin.  Well done.

Terrell Suggs is the Flukeman

I have kept a diligent watch out for aliens invading our basketball courts.  Now that the NBA is in a lockout, and nobody has noticed, we face an even more dangerous foe.  Monsters have invaded football.  I think that you will agree, the evidence is undeniable.

This post has nothing to do with me being pissed that the Steelers choked the game away with 8 seconds to go last night.

The Power Rye: 11/7/2011 BS Rankings. PSU. Dude! WFT! Dude!

The Power Rye, or Power Wry, depending on my mood and state of sobriety, is the most accurate ranking of college football available.  Each week, I feed all of the facts, figures, stats, scores and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix.  Two days later, I pinch off a post.

1. LSU (9-0) Defeated Alabama 9-6.  I fell asleep at halftime.  Did I miss anything?  Nope.  As games of the century go... it's a good thing we have another 89 years.
2. Alabama (8-1) Lost to LSU 9-6.  If you were not so anti-immigration in the south, you would have better luck finding a kicker.
3. Oklahoma State (9-0) Defeated Kansas 52-45.  Don't care game of the week, numero uno.  Dear Alabama, that means number one.
4. Stanford (9-0) Defeated Oregon State 38-13.  Really?  Just 38-13.  You gotta pound the Beaver(s) harder than that.
5. Arkansas (8-1) Defeated South Carolina 44-28.  South Carolina has Jerry Sandusky's favorite mascot.
6. Oklahoma (8-1) Defeated Texas A&M 41-25.  SEC speed could not bail out the Aggie's.
7. Oregon (7-1) Defeated Washington 34-17.  Surely, there must be another Hasselbeck ready to graduate from high school.
8. Clemson (8-1) Did not play.  Once again, well played.
9. Boise State (8-0) Defeated UNLV 48-21.  Pretty sure that UNLV is not a word, let alone a state or city.  Buy a vowel people.  Boise drops a spot.
10. Penn State (8-1) Did not play.  A couple of weeks ago I promised Buckeye-Hating-Chris that I would slide PSU into the 10 spot.  At the time, I did not realize that would be an inappropriate comment.