Monday, November 25, 2013

The Power Wry Week 13, Brrrr

The Power Rye, or Power Wry, depending on my mood and state of sobriety, is the most accurate ranking of college football available.  Each week, I feed all of the facts, figures, stats, scores and whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix.  Before I sober up, I pinch off a post.

This weeks ranking is brought to you by Larressingle Armagnac, thus ends the classy part of the ranking.
  1. Ohio State (11-0) Beat Indiana 42-14.  It was pretty chilly, as a matter of fact, my balls just finished re-dropping.  Now you can sleep at night, secure in the knowledge that my balls are swinging low again.
  2. Florida State (11-0) Beat Idaho 80-14.  The Vandals are a great mascot, but the Visigoths would have been better.  Also, the good team's QB might be going to jail.
  3. Alabama (11-0) Beat Chattanooga 49-0.  Oh Bumpers!  People with toddlers should get that reference. 
  4. Wisconsin (10-1 9-2) Beat Minnesota 20-7.  Seizure free.
  5. Michigan State (10-1) Beat Northwestern 30-6.  Northwestern is like Batman.  Awesome at night, but during the day, they're just a wacko in pajamas wishing they were as cool as the Batkid.
  6. Auburn (10-1) Did not play.  Glad to see that someone is playing quality football in Alabama.
  7. Missouri (10-1) Did not play and still beat Mississippi 24-10.
  8. Oklahoma State (10-1) Defeated the unstoppable juggernaut that is Baylor 49-17.
9-... discontinued.  Oregon got whooped by Rich Rod and will rejoiced because they will not have to settle for playing in the Rose Bowl.  Baylor, yep.  Johnny Secondary Violation sucked.  Stanford beat Cal, which is what happens when Cal is in a football stadium.

More cold picture fun!

Ask all you want, he's not throwing you the ball.


So fast the snow melted, or the pics are out of order.

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