Monday, October 25, 2010

Power Rye BS Rankings 10/25/10

The Power Rye is the most accurate ranking of college football available. Each week, I feed all the facts, figures, stats, scores, and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix. Two days later, you get this.

Week in Review:  My crack research team did some investigating, and Boise is a city and not a state.  Thus, Boise State is out.  Stanford is also out.  Anyone with a thorough understanding of the second law of thermodynamics knows that only one Pac-10 team can be good at a time.  Also, they gave up 28 points to a shitty Washington State team.  Egads.

This weeks ranking:
  1. Auburn (8-0)  Defeated LSU 24-17.  Can we send Cam Newton the Heisman now and get it over with?
  2. Oregon (7-0)  Defeated UCLA 60-13.  Bill Walton is spinning in his grave.
  3. Michigan State (8-0)  Defeated Northwestern 35-27.  I suspect that they traded uniforms prior to kickoff.  Northwestern blew a lead that would have had John L Smith smacking himself.
  4. Alabama (7-1)  Defeated Tennessee 41-10.  The Iron Bowl is looking more and more like the de facto National Title game.
  5. Missouri  (7-0)  Defeated Oklahoma 36-17.  The Big 12 sucks, but they are undefeated.  For now.
  6. Wisconsin (7-1)  Defeated Iowa 31-30.  Bucky wins big in back to back weeks.
  7. LSU (7-1)  Lost to Auburn.  Les Miles is busy preparing for the Michigan job that accepted in 2007.
  8. Ohio State (7-1) Defeated Purdue 49-0.  No, you get used to it.
  9. Nebraska (6-1) Defeated Oklahoma St. 51-41.  Future Big 10 bias moves Nebraska back into the top 10.  For now.
  10. Utah (7-0).  Token small conference team.
For fun.  Brett Farve's new Wrangler commercial.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Ron Matusalem Gran Reserva

Rumor has it, this is a drinking blog.

My grand tour of solera aged rums comes to an end.  I had the Ron Zacapa, the Ron Atlantico, and now the Ron Matusalem.  It's the most affordable of the three at under $30.  I get vanilla, honey, a bit of cinnamon with lightly tannic finish.  As a whiskey lover, my only complaint is that this rum tastes too much like rum.

Grade: B+

Power Rye BS Rankings 10/16/10

The Power Rye is the most accurate ranking of college football available.  Each week, I feed all the facts, figures, stats, scores, and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix.  After my headache goes away, the results are posted.

Week in review:  Nebraska messed with Texas and they're out.  TCU is out just cause.  South Carolina, the Michigan State of the South, gacked against UK, they're out.  Ohio State wasted no time reminding me why god invented whiskey and the remote control.

This weeks rankings:
  1. Auburn (7-0)  Defeated Arkansas 65-43.  No defense.  No problem.
  2. LSU (7-0)  Defeated McNeese St. 32-10.  I thought that they had a bye so they fell one spot.
  3. Michigan State (7-0) Defeated Illinois 26-6.  Sparty, the South Carolina of the Midwest, continues to defy the odds by not choking.  Can they make it another week?  Stay tuned.
  4. Oregon (6-0)  Stayed home and played with themselves.  East Coast bias keeps them from moving up the rankings.
  5. Alabama (6-1)  Defeated Mississippi 21-10.  Don't make Nick Saban angry.  You won't like him when he's angry.
  6. Oklahoma (6-0)  Defeated Iowa St. 61-0.  Oklahoma is poised to blow another BCS game.  Somehow, Ohio State will get blamed for it.
  7. Wisconsin (6-1)  Defeated Ohio State 31-18.  Fuck you Bucky.
  8. Stanford (5-1) Bye week.  Harbaugh went for 2.
  9. Ohio State (6-1)  Lost to Wisconsin 31-18.  John Clay still running.
  10. Boise State (6-0)  Defeated San Jose St. 48-0.  I've been to San Jose, and it's a city.  Boise loses one spot for playing a fake state.  I've never been to Boise.  I cannot confirm whether or not it is a state.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Power Rye's Inaugural Official BS College Football Rankings

  1. LSU.  (6-0)  The "BS" stands for bat-shit crazy Les Miles.
  2. THE Ohio State University.  (6-0)  Terrelle Pryor's good, but he's no Jacory Harris.  Plus, impressive victories against ACC teams do not count.
  3. Nebraska.   (5-0)   Should waltz through the crappy Big 12 North.
  4. Oregon.  (6-0)  I actually like the uniforms.  Rose Bowl butt whooping still fresh in my mind.
  5. Michigan State.  (6-0)  The South Carolina of the midwest is due to implode any day now.
  6. South Carolina.  (4-1)  The Michigan State of the south is due to implode any day now.
  7. Oklahoma.  (5-0)  See Ohio State in regards to victories against ACC opponents.
  8. Alabama.  (5-1)  Evil schedule may bite them again before it's all over.
  9. Boise State.  (5-0)  Legally obligated to be included in any and all polls.  See Ohio State and Oklahoma for my opinion on the Va Tech victory.
  10. TCU.  (6-0)  #1 high school team in Texas.