Tuesday, October 8, 2013

The Power Rye 2013 Week 6

The Power Rye, or Power Wry, depending on my mood and state of sobriety, is the most accurate ranking of college football available.  Each week, I feed all of the facts, figures, stats, scores and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix.  A day or so later, I pinch off a post.

This weeks Power Wry is brought to you by Glenmorangie Elanta.  Nobody of consequence lost this week, so the ranking is the same, only the snarky comments have changed.

  1. Clemson (5-0) Beat Syracuse 49-14.  That crusty grouch Boeheim needs to hang it up.
  2. Oregon (5-0) Defeated Colorado 57-16.  Colorado is what happens to your genitals after two months of cholera.
  3. Ohio State (6-0) Defeated Northwestern 40-30.  The glory of the back door cover.
  4. Miami (5-0) Defeated Georgia Tech 45-30.
  5. Alabama (6-0) Whooped Georgia State 45-3.  Peachy.
  6. Florida State (5-0) Defeated Maryland 63-0.  They're just mad that they won't getting all of that B1G cash money.
  7. Stanford (5-0) Defeated Washington 31-28.  They got outplayed and won.  Very Buckeye-ishticological of you.
  8. Oklahoma! (5-0) Beat TCU 20-17.  The little sisters of the poor must have been fired up for that one.
  9. UCLA (4-0) Defeated Utah 34-17.  Just like Obama.
  10. Texas Arts & Crafts (4-1) Stayed home and signed autographs.
This article is late because we lost our big buddy on Sunday night.
He is the skinny one on the left.

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