Web stuff:
ABOUT Glacier Harvest '09 Wet Hop Beer
Brew Date: 8/18/08
Packaging Date: 9/1/09
For the 28th session of the Harpoon 100 Barrel Series, we’re celebrating this year’s hop harvest with Glacier Harvest Wet Hop beer, a pale ale made with fresh Glacier hops.
Wet hop beers are brewed using fresh, “wet” hops instead of traditional dried hops—hops contain about 60% moisture when they are first picked. See, you really do learn something new every day.
Typically, when hops are picked they are quickly dried and refrigerated to increase shelf life and make them more consistent for brewing. Freshly picked wet hops, however, need to be used within hours of harvest or they will begin to degrade rapidly. Wet hops retain more of their natural aroma and volatile flavors that dissipate when dried. This gives wet hop beers a fresher hop flavor and aroma than that of beers hopped with processed hops. Theoretically yes, but in this case....
This yields an immersed, intense hop flavor in the beer.
Harpoon brewer Ray Dobens, creator of the beer, added a heroic dose of fresh hops the day of the harvest. See the brewer in heroic action! The hop flavor and aroma from this copper-colored ale comes from a generous late addition of freshly harvested “wet” hops.
How does it really taste? I'm not familiar with Glacier hops. There are no discernable aromatics. It's basically crisp and bitter. Not a bad thing, but not quite what I was hoping for.
Cost: Approximately $6.99 for 20 oz.
Grade: B-
Cost Adjusted Grade: B-
Monday, September 28, 2009
Two Parts Wry Observations: NFL Week 3, Bizarro World Edition
Instead of living in a world where the Steelers hang around and pull out a victory when it counts; we now live in a world where they appear dominant for 45 minutes, fail to put the other team away, and then choke it all way in the 4th quarter.
Well that's just dandy.
The Cincinatti cocktail. Way to eff up a beer.
Well that's just dandy.
The Cincinatti cocktail. Way to eff up a beer.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Two Parts Wry Observations: Noah's Ark Edition
You may or may not have noticed, but it poored the rain down in the old shoe today. I didn't care, I had my rain pants, waterproof shoes, poncho, and most importantly, my flask.
It was football the way that football should be played. In the elements. I was there and I loved every sloppy wet minute of it.
The flask was New York Mineral Water. AKA Rye, Vermouth, Bitters. AKA 1 pint of Manhattan.
The pregame started off with Illi-Noise pretending to start a fight during OSU's entrance. Only problem, they forgot their helmets. Talk about a bunch of posers. Oh yeah, they got their asses handed to them 30-0.
The flask was New York Mineral Water. AKA Rye, Vermouth, Bitters. AKA 1 pint of Manhattan.
Friday, September 25, 2009
House Bourbon Challenge: Buffalo Trace vs Rebel Reserve
I have already done a house rye challenge. That format was fine and dandy, because there are only a handful of rye whiskeys available. Bourbon is another story. I've declared Buffalo Trace as my house bourbon. And like Thunderlips, it's taking on all challengers. Today, I have found a worthy challenger. Rebel Reserve.
Remember, your house liquor has to be good, and reasonably priced. In other words, tastes good neat, but not so expensive that you feel guilty making a cocktail with it.
The reigning champion. Sitting resplendently in my Washington DC shot glass. Buffalo Trace.
From the web: Light bronze in color with streaks of gold, Streaks? Are you serious? Buffalo Trace Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey bears a complex aroma of vanilla yes, mint Shit yes, that's what I've been tasting all this time!, and molasses nope, molasses are heavy, mint is light. Its taste is pleasantly sweet and contains notes of brown sugar no and spice yes that give way to oak yes and leather who are these people that taste leather? What's your safe word? The long and dry finish has significant depth. When enjoyed with water, flavors of toffee no, dark fruit RuPaul? and anise a little bit, but only because you said it first are revealed.
The challenger. In the United Federations of Planets shot glass, representing the possible future in which I can spend $3 less on a bottle of bourbon. Rebel Reserve.
Too much crap on the web site to deal with. I'll go with this bit of info.
Have you ever wondered what makes Rebel Yell such a great tasting bourbon whiskey? Now that you mention it. I have spent countless sleepless nights wondering how you hillbillies got it right. In addition to selecting the choicest ingredients, using pure limestone-filtered water and patiently aging our whiskey in new charred white oak barrels just like every other bourbon, Rebel Yell is one of the few wheated bourbons on the market today. Being a wheated bourbon means that Rebel Yell, uses wheat, rather than rye in the mashbill. Wheat makes a softer, smoother spirit than rye. Hold on. No rye bashing on Two Parts Rye. You can keep your softer, smoother wussy spirit.
The winner and reigning Two Parts Rye House Bourbon: Buffalo Trace!
Buffalo Trace
Cost: $22.15
Grade: B
Cost Adjusted Grade: B+
Rebel Reserve:
Cost: $19.20
Grade: B
Cost Adjusted Grade: B+
I actually did taste them side by side. And while the Rebel Reserve is good, it doesn't stand up to the Trace.
Remember, your house liquor has to be good, and reasonably priced. In other words, tastes good neat, but not so expensive that you feel guilty making a cocktail with it.
The reigning champion. Sitting resplendently in my Washington DC shot glass. Buffalo Trace.
From the web: Light bronze in color with streaks of gold, Streaks? Are you serious? Buffalo Trace Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey bears a complex aroma of vanilla yes, mint Shit yes, that's what I've been tasting all this time!, and molasses nope, molasses are heavy, mint is light. Its taste is pleasantly sweet and contains notes of brown sugar no and spice yes that give way to oak yes and leather who are these people that taste leather? What's your safe word? The long and dry finish has significant depth. When enjoyed with water, flavors of toffee no, dark fruit RuPaul? and anise a little bit, but only because you said it first are revealed.
The challenger. In the United Federations of Planets shot glass, representing the possible future in which I can spend $3 less on a bottle of bourbon. Rebel Reserve.
Too much crap on the web site to deal with. I'll go with this bit of info.
Have you ever wondered what makes Rebel Yell such a great tasting bourbon whiskey? Now that you mention it. I have spent countless sleepless nights wondering how you hillbillies got it right. In addition to selecting the choicest ingredients, using pure limestone-filtered water and patiently aging our whiskey in new charred white oak barrels just like every other bourbon, Rebel Yell is one of the few wheated bourbons on the market today. Being a wheated bourbon means that Rebel Yell, uses wheat, rather than rye in the mashbill. Wheat makes a softer, smoother spirit than rye. Hold on. No rye bashing on Two Parts Rye. You can keep your softer, smoother wussy spirit.
The winner and reigning Two Parts Rye House Bourbon: Buffalo Trace!
Buffalo Trace
Cost: $22.15
Grade: B
Cost Adjusted Grade: B+
Rebel Reserve:
Cost: $19.20
Grade: B
Cost Adjusted Grade: B+
I actually did taste them side by side. And while the Rebel Reserve is good, it doesn't stand up to the Trace.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Tales from the top shelf: Bernheim Original Kentucky Straight Wheat Whiskey
Label Stuff: Bernheim Original Wheat Whiskey uses soft winter wheat in its recipe to deliver a smooth, sweet taste. This one-of-a-kind whiskey is hand crafted according to the traditions that our Master Distillers have been practicing for seven generations.
How is it different from bourbon? Bourbon has to be at least 50% corn. Wheat whiskey is at least 50% wheat.
How does it taste? It's 90 proof, so it's quite warming. It's not as sweet as bourbon. They describe it as smooth and sweet and it really isn't either when served neat. A splash or so of water mellows out the alcohol and reveals a very nice flavor. It's a whiskey for whiskey drinkers.
Cost: $39.99 Found it in Maryland last winter.
Grade: B+
Cost Adjusted Grade: B
How is it different from bourbon? Bourbon has to be at least 50% corn. Wheat whiskey is at least 50% wheat.
How does it taste? It's 90 proof, so it's quite warming. It's not as sweet as bourbon. They describe it as smooth and sweet and it really isn't either when served neat. A splash or so of water mellows out the alcohol and reveals a very nice flavor. It's a whiskey for whiskey drinkers.
Cost: $39.99 Found it in Maryland last winter.
Grade: B+
Cost Adjusted Grade: B
Labels:
whiskey
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
What in the world is...Dumante Verdenoce
It's a pistachio liqueur.
That doesn't sound like you: It sure doesn't.
Let's travel back in time to December 2007. The phone rings at the house and the caller id says Ohio Liquor Control. Finally, they want to speak with a subject matter expert! They want to talk to my wife about a liquor that she is trying to find. I tell them to say no more. It's a gift for me. Call back and I'll let it ring to voicemail so that I can be surprised.
Oh joy oh joy! I'm finally going to get some Pappy Van Winkle's. (at the time I was Pappy-less) I've been hinting and hinting about it. Christmas comes, and I get a chick drink. She had tried it at a conference in Atlanta. I do remember her saying how good it was and that I need to try it. E for effort.
There is one sip left in the bottle (which is odd, I haven't been drinking it. Must be the dogs.) She's tried to get at it several times. I say nope, that's my Christmas present and I'm going to blog about it.
So I've blogged about it and the bottle is now kaput.
What does it taste like? Better than amaretto, not as good as Frangelica.
That doesn't sound like you: It sure doesn't.
Let's travel back in time to December 2007. The phone rings at the house and the caller id says Ohio Liquor Control. Finally, they want to speak with a subject matter expert! They want to talk to my wife about a liquor that she is trying to find. I tell them to say no more. It's a gift for me. Call back and I'll let it ring to voicemail so that I can be surprised.
Oh joy oh joy! I'm finally going to get some Pappy Van Winkle's. (at the time I was Pappy-less) I've been hinting and hinting about it. Christmas comes, and I get a chick drink. She had tried it at a conference in Atlanta. I do remember her saying how good it was and that I need to try it. E for effort.
There is one sip left in the bottle (which is odd, I haven't been drinking it. Must be the dogs.) She's tried to get at it several times. I say nope, that's my Christmas present and I'm going to blog about it.
So I've blogged about it and the bottle is now kaput.
What does it taste like? Better than amaretto, not as good as Frangelica.
Labels:
liqueur
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Two Parts Wry Observations: Watching Joe Buck Live
Won't make it past the 20 minute mark.
Why?
Why?
- Joe Buck is baseball guy at heart. Plus, his head/skull looks cock-eyed.
- Joe Namath sounds drunk, even when he is sober. At least I think that he's sober. I want to kiss you. Never gets old. I love Paul McGuire at the end. "Oh boy is he happy."
- John Elway looks older than Namath. Remember the naked old lady in The Shining? HD is a harsh mistress.
- Marino is Marino. Did you know that he lost 40 lbs on Neutrisystem?
- Pretty sure that Artie Lange has been banned from the show.
- Next segment has Jerry Jones and Marc Cuban. I actually like Cuban. He's my kind of crazy. Jones looks like the Geico lizard. So sad that the Giants shat all over your billion dollar monstrosity's grand opening.
- Last Segment is Curt Shilling Running for the Senate. God save us. Update! God was listening.
Labels:
football
Drafts from the Cultural Hub of the Midwest: Imperial Brown Goose
Hey! Goose Island made a bourbon ale.
I walk into the bar and check to see if they have anything new on tap. I see a tap handle which is basically a goose head with the long neck. "What's the Imperial Brown Ale?" I ask. It's a barrel aged ale. Not wanting to commit the big mug to a bad beer, I ask for a sample. Nate the bartender hands me a rocks glass with the beer. As I'm about to sip it, he mentions the bourbon flavor. Filler' up!
I loves me some Bourbon Ale! Bob's has a bourbon ale on tap. Whoo hoo!
Web stuff:
A strong bourbon barrel aged ale yeah baby, yeah! , this ale is rich and full flavored with notes of wood nope, vanilla yes, and raisin yes.
Alcohol by Volume: 7.2% I'm pretty sure that it's 72%
International Bitterness Units: 55
Preferred Glass: Snifter I'm happy with my 25 0z mug.
Preferred Serving Temperature: 45º
Availability: Limited ReleaseDraft: 1/6 bbl
How does it taste compared to the other bourbon ales? It is a sweeter version of the Kentucky Ale.
What happens when you drink a 25 oz mug? You get very tipsy, and very full.
Grade: A
I also tried the Left Hand Brewing Company Octoberfest in the bottle. Tastes like every other Octoberfest beer: C
I walk into the bar and check to see if they have anything new on tap. I see a tap handle which is basically a goose head with the long neck. "What's the Imperial Brown Ale?" I ask. It's a barrel aged ale. Not wanting to commit the big mug to a bad beer, I ask for a sample. Nate the bartender hands me a rocks glass with the beer. As I'm about to sip it, he mentions the bourbon flavor. Filler' up!
I loves me some Bourbon Ale! Bob's has a bourbon ale on tap. Whoo hoo!
Web stuff:
A strong bourbon barrel aged ale yeah baby, yeah! , this ale is rich and full flavored with notes of wood nope, vanilla yes, and raisin yes.
Alcohol by Volume: 7.2% I'm pretty sure that it's 72%
International Bitterness Units: 55
Preferred Glass: Snifter I'm happy with my 25 0z mug.
Preferred Serving Temperature: 45º
Availability: Limited ReleaseDraft: 1/6 bbl
How does it taste compared to the other bourbon ales? It is a sweeter version of the Kentucky Ale.
What happens when you drink a 25 oz mug? You get very tipsy, and very full.
Grade: A
I also tried the Left Hand Brewing Company Octoberfest in the bottle. Tastes like every other Octoberfest beer: C
Labels:
beer
Monday, September 21, 2009
Two Parts Wry Observations: NFL Week 2, NCAA Week 3
Not so random football thoughts from the weekend.
For all the buckeye fans that enjoyed seeing USC lose to Washington. That makes OSU look worse not better.
I wanted to wait until after the Steelers-Bears game before I posted this, didn't want to jinx the Stillers. How did that work out? Lesson learned. Talk smack no matter what.
=? 
Apparently bong resin is water soluble. Once the rains fell, San-Toke-io became San-Drop-io. The 10 days between the week one and two games would have been better spent NOT taking receiving lessons from Braylon Edwards.
The other theory is that Buckeye-Hatin'-Chris jinxed him when he said that "Holmes Catches Everything!" Next play. Drop.
The Tennessee Titans fans that I know are too polite to say this: "How the fuck are we 0-2?"
On the other hand, Denver Bronco fans are definitely saying: "How the fuck are we 2-0?"
Tom Brady isn't looking so hot without the other teams playbook. This observation is brought to you by Joel-needs-a-better-nickname. Wait a sec: Joel-Needs-Anonmyous-Designation. J-Nad. Shouldn't have asked me if I'm still blogging.
Normally clutch kicker Jeff Reed Sheetz'd his pants in the fourth quarter of the Steelers-Bears Game.
Got this cocktail recipe of the week from Mondesi's House, who got it from Twitter.
A Jeff Reed. 1 shot vodka. Pour it out. Now drink what's left in the bottle.
For all the buckeye fans that enjoyed seeing USC lose to Washington. That makes OSU look worse not better.
I wanted to wait until after the Steelers-Bears game before I posted this, didn't want to jinx the Stillers. How did that work out? Lesson learned. Talk smack no matter what.
Separated at birth?
=? 
Lovie Smith done told me. Tyrone Carter can't cover.
Apparently bong resin is water soluble. Once the rains fell, San-Toke-io became San-Drop-io. The 10 days between the week one and two games would have been better spent NOT taking receiving lessons from Braylon Edwards.
The other theory is that Buckeye-Hatin'-Chris jinxed him when he said that "Holmes Catches Everything!" Next play. Drop.
The Tennessee Titans fans that I know are too polite to say this: "How the fuck are we 0-2?"
On the other hand, Denver Bronco fans are definitely saying: "How the fuck are we 2-0?"
Tom Brady isn't looking so hot without the other teams playbook. This observation is brought to you by Joel-needs-a-better-nickname. Wait a sec: Joel-Needs-Anonmyous-Designation. J-Nad. Shouldn't have asked me if I'm still blogging.
Normally clutch kicker Jeff Reed Sheetz'd his pants in the fourth quarter of the Steelers-Bears Game.
Got this cocktail recipe of the week from Mondesi's House, who got it from Twitter.
A Jeff Reed. 1 shot vodka. Pour it out. Now drink what's left in the bottle.
Elevator Brewing Company Horus
Limited Release Imperial Red Ale
Label Stuff: To celebrate 10 years of brewing exceptional hand-crafted beers, and ease into the next decade of big bold beer, we offer Horus, Named after the Egyptian falcon god (Sky god, sun god, war god, bit of a show-off), it represents how high we can fly in the next 10 years in our new brewery. This big, bold full bodied double Red ale has an intense hop bitterness somewhat, assertive caramel malt character it is sweet, deep amber in color. The strong hop bouquet is balanced with complex vinous flavors and moderate fruit esters.
Only a fish-eyed fool wouldn't like this beer.
How does it taste? The barley overwhelms the hops. A little too sweet for me.
Cost: $8.99 for 750ml
Grade: B
Cost Adjusted Grade: B
Label Stuff: To celebrate 10 years of brewing exceptional hand-crafted beers, and ease into the next decade of big bold beer, we offer Horus, Named after the Egyptian falcon god (Sky god, sun god, war god, bit of a show-off), it represents how high we can fly in the next 10 years in our new brewery. This big, bold full bodied double Red ale has an intense hop bitterness somewhat, assertive caramel malt character it is sweet, deep amber in color. The strong hop bouquet is balanced with complex vinous flavors and moderate fruit esters.
Only a fish-eyed fool wouldn't like this beer.
How does it taste? The barley overwhelms the hops. A little too sweet for me.
Cost: $8.99 for 750ml
Grade: B
Cost Adjusted Grade: B
Labels:
beer
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Drafts from the Cultural Hub of the Midwest: Flying Dog Double Dog Double Pale Ale
This is a beer with a message.
The message: I'm going to jack you up.
Side effect of getting jacked up: Attack E-list local celebrity on your blog.
Their web site actually says "Good Beer, No Shit" I'll be the judge of that. Let's see, you are a "Gonzo Brewery". I smell shit.
Web stuff:
ABV: 11.5%
Plato:24
IBU's:85
Specialty Malts: Light Crystal
Hops: Columbus, Worrior, Cascade
Process: Double recipe of our Pale Ale, dry hopped with an insane amount of Cascade and Columbus hops
Back by popular demand, our original "Wild Dog Release" is back, and this time it's for good. Double Dog Double Pale Ale is a generously hopped ale with a deep red color and pours with a nice frothy head. The abundance of hops will conjure some provocative (lingerie is provocative) aromas with hints of raisins and citrus. (no)
How does it taste? Sweet malt flavor with a bitter aftertaste. Good, but not earth shattering.
Grade: B
The message: I'm going to jack you up.
Side effect of getting jacked up: Attack E-list local celebrity on your blog.
Their web site actually says "Good Beer, No Shit" I'll be the judge of that. Let's see, you are a "Gonzo Brewery". I smell shit.
Web stuff:
ABV: 11.5%
Plato:24
IBU's:85
Specialty Malts: Light Crystal
Hops: Columbus, Worrior, Cascade
Process: Double recipe of our Pale Ale, dry hopped with an insane amount of Cascade and Columbus hops
Back by popular demand, our original "Wild Dog Release" is back, and this time it's for good. Double Dog Double Pale Ale is a generously hopped ale with a deep red color and pours with a nice frothy head. The abundance of hops will conjure some provocative (lingerie is provocative) aromas with hints of raisins and citrus. (no)
How does it taste? Sweet malt flavor with a bitter aftertaste. Good, but not earth shattering.
Grade: B
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Has Two Parts Rye hit the big time?
I got my first e-mail from a distributor.
1800 Tequila Launches New TV Campaign.
Send me some free booze and then I'll get interested. Still, kinda cool.
1800 Tequila Launches New TV Campaign.
Send me some free booze and then I'll get interested. Still, kinda cool.
Two Parts Wry Observations: Who the eff is Marty Bannister?
I'm really trying to let this USC game go. I started to post this yesterday, but I said "Jim , let it go." I was at Bob's Bar tonight and my buddy Scott said that he had heard it this dipshit on the radio too.
Drinking beer, bitching about football. The last cathartic step is to blog.
If you don't care about football, this won't be a post for you. If you hate OSU, experience schadenfreude. If you are an OSU person, join me in loathing this Micky Mouse D-bag.
Level set time. I have accepted that our head coach is a good person, world class recruiter, brings a shit-load of money to the university, which makes him teflon, He should fire himself as offensive coordinator. Unfortunately, he just won't do that. Monday night, I'm doing my best to let this game go. While I'm doing some some yard-work and listening to the radio, I hear some smurf named Marty Bannister on the Buckeye Roundtable say that the crowd was loud, but not intimidating during the game. I'm sorry, I'm pretty sure that I saw Matt Barkley crap down his leg for 3 1/2 quarters. I'm also sure that the crowd had nothing to do with the botched punt that sailed through the end zone for a safety in the 3rd quarter.
So, who the eff is Marty Bannister? He is the sideline reporter with a voice made for literature. If that crowd was not intimidating, then there will never be an intimidating crowd in the shoe. Go back to selling insurance or radio advertising or whatever it is you do during the week.
Cocktail time. The Marty Bannister
1 oz Amaretto
1 oz Red Bull
1 oz Jaegermeister
1 oz Grey Goose
Punch yourself in the nuts and enjoy!
He's probably a nice guy, but that was a really stupid thing to say. Football fans are crazy.
Drinking beer, bitching about football. The last cathartic step is to blog.
If you don't care about football, this won't be a post for you. If you hate OSU, experience schadenfreude. If you are an OSU person, join me in loathing this Micky Mouse D-bag.
Level set time. I have accepted that our head coach is a good person, world class recruiter, brings a shit-load of money to the university, which makes him teflon, He should fire himself as offensive coordinator. Unfortunately, he just won't do that. Monday night, I'm doing my best to let this game go. While I'm doing some some yard-work and listening to the radio, I hear some smurf named Marty Bannister on the Buckeye Roundtable say that the crowd was loud, but not intimidating during the game. I'm sorry, I'm pretty sure that I saw Matt Barkley crap down his leg for 3 1/2 quarters. I'm also sure that the crowd had nothing to do with the botched punt that sailed through the end zone for a safety in the 3rd quarter.
So, who the eff is Marty Bannister? He is the sideline reporter with a voice made for literature. If that crowd was not intimidating, then there will never be an intimidating crowd in the shoe. Go back to selling insurance or radio advertising or whatever it is you do during the week.
Cocktail time. The Marty Bannister
1 oz Amaretto
1 oz Red Bull
1 oz Jaegermeister
1 oz Grey Goose
Punch yourself in the nuts and enjoy!
He's probably a nice guy, but that was a really stupid thing to say. Football fans are crazy.
Labels:
OSU
Monday, September 14, 2009
Stone Juxtaposition Black Pilsner
Stone made a beer with Brew Dog. I can't get away from those guys. It might have something to do with the good beer that they make.
Label stuff: Mystical Cerberus was a three headed canine entity who guarded the gates of Hades to prevent those who dared cross the River Styx from ever escaping. We soon got bored guarding the gates (fabled gates are hard to guard) something tells me that you have a fabled sex life as well. and decided to brew some hardcore beer instead. If you were really hardcore and had some stones, you'd call it blacksploitation pilsner. Stone, Cambridge, and Brew Dog; a modern day Cerberus. We formed a singular, ardent brewing entity complete with three heads. We were determined to create a legend all of our own.
Our juxtaposing collaborative intent was to completely redefine the lager genre. One valiant attempt to claim back which faceless corporate monstrosities steal. The Waaaaasssuuuup guys had faces. Maybe Foucoult was right, perhaps the picture does hold us captive. Please stop randomly quoting philosophy. Seriously, stop. We wanted to smash the picture. This beer is designed to prevent those who cross the river Styx from even contemplating escaping. Why go back? Since you are such a classics expert, you know that drinking water from the river Styx causes one to forget their past and never leave. Yes, I am a giant nerd. We much prefer brewing from guarding mythological gates anyway.
Somebody who works at Brew Dog is trying to prove to his dad that a double major in philosophy and classics was not a waste of time.
How does it taste: It's damn tasty. It is black like a stout. I think that it tastes a little bit like a bourbon ale, and I love me some bourbon ales.
Abv: 10%.
Cost: $8.99 for a 12 oz bottle.
Grade: A
Cost Adjusted Grade: B+ You gotta give me more beer for $9.
Label stuff: Mystical Cerberus was a three headed canine entity who guarded the gates of Hades to prevent those who dared cross the River Styx from ever escaping. We soon got bored guarding the gates (fabled gates are hard to guard) something tells me that you have a fabled sex life as well. and decided to brew some hardcore beer instead. If you were really hardcore and had some stones, you'd call it blacksploitation pilsner. Stone, Cambridge, and Brew Dog; a modern day Cerberus. We formed a singular, ardent brewing entity complete with three heads. We were determined to create a legend all of our own.
Our juxtaposing collaborative intent was to completely redefine the lager genre. One valiant attempt to claim back which faceless corporate monstrosities steal. The Waaaaasssuuuup guys had faces. Maybe Foucoult was right, perhaps the picture does hold us captive. Please stop randomly quoting philosophy. Seriously, stop. We wanted to smash the picture. This beer is designed to prevent those who cross the river Styx from even contemplating escaping. Why go back? Since you are such a classics expert, you know that drinking water from the river Styx causes one to forget their past and never leave. Yes, I am a giant nerd. We much prefer brewing from guarding mythological gates anyway.
Somebody who works at Brew Dog is trying to prove to his dad that a double major in philosophy and classics was not a waste of time.
How does it taste: It's damn tasty. It is black like a stout. I think that it tastes a little bit like a bourbon ale, and I love me some bourbon ales.
Abv: 10%.
Cost: $8.99 for a 12 oz bottle.
Grade: A
Cost Adjusted Grade: B+ You gotta give me more beer for $9.
Labels:
beer
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Two Parts Wry Observations: You play to win the game.
I waited 20 or so hours to do this post. Playing to win the game doesn't mean that you always go for the dangerous call. It means that you play smart. You don't let 20 seconds run off in the last 2 minutes before you call time-out. You let your rocket leg kicker try the 50 yard field-goal, and you run out the clock in the first half because your defense has been on the field for 12 minutes in the quarter. Also, you don't call plays like a 4 year old girl afraid that there is a monster under the bed when you have the lead. Also also, our QB is 6'6". Can we run a fucking QB sneak on 3rd and 1, or are we gonna avoid it for 3 more years because he fumbled against Penn State last year. (It's a good thing that I waited until I was no longer angry.)
The worst part was that as I was leaving, I had to listen to some 11 year old kid talk about how our coach needs to be fired. I was not in the mood to hear from a kid, who's balls have not dropped, bitch about the game. I told him that Tressel would still be here when he's old enough to go to OSU. His 120 pound dad took exception and asked me what I said. And I repeated that Tressel would still be yadda yadda yadda. Listening to idiots after a home loss makes it so much worse.
I still like Tress, but Pete Carroll plays to win, and Tress plays not to lose. His offensive play calls are so bad, that people here are calling for Walt Harris to come back and be our offensive coordinator. Let's keep in mind, that Dave Wanstedt has proven to be a better head coach at Pitt than Walt Harris.
In spite of the last minute loss and my overall bitterness about it, I had a blast. Went to my buddy Chris's tailgate, drank a lot. Saw some poor girl puke 1 hour before the game started. Nice reminder of how no matter how great college was, it's better to be an adult.
The stadium has never been louder. I lost my voice by the start of the second quarter. I sat next to an ex-player who was on the team when I was in college. I know that he was a receiver, first name Bernard. With the help of the internet, I'm 90% sure that he was Bernard Edwards (Hope that I'm right, it's hard to find rosters from 88-91.) Update, my benefactor, aka Sue has confirmed that I sat next to Bernard Edwards, WR, from The Ohio State University. Hell of a nice guy. I mean, really nice guy. Likes to throw the one armed hug around you when the Bucks make a great play. Hurts just a little when you are half his size.
I've never been this tired after watching a football game. It's ridiculous to say that you gave your all as a fan, but 106K tried to pull the upset. Here's the recipe for a cocktail called the Ohio State Redeye. A foo-foo drink that I will never try, but I gotta keep it boozy.
The worst part was that as I was leaving, I had to listen to some 11 year old kid talk about how our coach needs to be fired. I was not in the mood to hear from a kid, who's balls have not dropped, bitch about the game. I told him that Tressel would still be here when he's old enough to go to OSU. His 120 pound dad took exception and asked me what I said. And I repeated that Tressel would still be yadda yadda yadda. Listening to idiots after a home loss makes it so much worse.
I still like Tress, but Pete Carroll plays to win, and Tress plays not to lose. His offensive play calls are so bad, that people here are calling for Walt Harris to come back and be our offensive coordinator. Let's keep in mind, that Dave Wanstedt has proven to be a better head coach at Pitt than Walt Harris.
In spite of the last minute loss and my overall bitterness about it, I had a blast. Went to my buddy Chris's tailgate, drank a lot. Saw some poor girl puke 1 hour before the game started. Nice reminder of how no matter how great college was, it's better to be an adult.
The stadium has never been louder. I lost my voice by the start of the second quarter. I sat next to an ex-player who was on the team when I was in college. I know that he was a receiver, first name Bernard. With the help of the internet, I'm 90% sure that he was Bernard Edwards (Hope that I'm right, it's hard to find rosters from 88-91.) Update, my benefactor, aka Sue has confirmed that I sat next to Bernard Edwards, WR, from The Ohio State University. Hell of a nice guy. I mean, really nice guy. Likes to throw the one armed hug around you when the Bucks make a great play. Hurts just a little when you are half his size.
I've never been this tired after watching a football game. It's ridiculous to say that you gave your all as a fan, but 106K tried to pull the upset. Here's the recipe for a cocktail called the Ohio State Redeye. A foo-foo drink that I will never try, but I gotta keep it boozy.
Friday, September 11, 2009
This is how you start off your Saturday Tailgate!
Friday night at the Columbus Microbrew Festival.
You know how some bloggers tell you a bunch of personal stuff that you don't really care about. This will end up being one of those posts. Should still be interesting.
First up, doing some serious drinking, what's the transportation going to be? Rode my bike, and by bike, I mean bicycle. Rode to work. Came home, fed the dogs, rode downtown to the festival, drank, rode home. 30-35 miles before it's all said and done. Not exactly Tour de France impressive, but probably more than your butt can handle.
Beers that I had! Keep in mind, this is my 4th time doing this festival, so I was being particular.
You know how some bloggers tell you a bunch of personal stuff that you don't really care about. This will end up being one of those posts. Should still be interesting.
First up, doing some serious drinking, what's the transportation going to be? Rode my bike, and by bike, I mean bicycle. Rode to work. Came home, fed the dogs, rode downtown to the festival, drank, rode home. 30-35 miles before it's all said and done. Not exactly Tour de France impressive, but probably more than your butt can handle.
Beers that I had! Keep in mind, this is my 4th time doing this festival, so I was being particular.
- Elevator Brewing Co. Ryan's Rye IPA. Way, way, way too bitter. Grade: C-
- Elevator Brewing Co. Mocha Plum Stout. Who dumped coffee grounds in my beer. Grade: D.
- Elevator Brewing Co. Black Wheat (Aged) Maybe the stout ruined the flavor, but I didn't like it. Tasted medicinal. Grade: D. Elevator is actually a really good brewery, but it was not working for me tonight.
- At this point, I went and grabbed a New Yorker from Barry's Deli. 1/2 pound or so of corn beef, cole slaw, russian dressing on Rye bread. Hey, two parts Rye!. Puts down a nice foundation for beer drinking. The fourth beer was Barley's Brewing Co. Imperial Pilsner. A really nice beer with a lot of flavor, which you don't think of when you think Pilsner. Grade: A-
- Beer 5 was Barley's Smokehouse & Brewpub Cherry Porter. Barley's has two locations, with different beers. This was ok. I'm not a big porter fan. It was very smoky tasting. World-Wide-Kev eventually showed up. This was his last beer of the evening. He likes this style, but was not overly impressed. Grade: C. I couldn't taste the cherry at all, he thought that it was there, but just a hint.
- It's starting to get busy and I want to try the Columbus brewing company selection. I go to where they are located. The space used to be a restaurant. They have a nice U-shaped bar with seats available. All of the bartenders are dressed as Elvis. Why didn't I bring my camera? It gets even better. The price guide calls for two drink tickets for a 1/4 pint. They are only accepting 1, and are pouring heavy. Yee-hah. Beer 6 is Columbus Brewing Co. Summerteeth. It's a clean crisp beer and a great palate cleanser for an event like this. Grade: B.
- Columbus Brewing Co. Bodhi - A Double IPA. Holy shit is this good. When you smell the beer, you smell fresh hops. I mean, fresh from the plant hops. Tons of hops, but not too bitter. Grade: A+.
- Columbus Brewing Co. Saison. Belgian style. It's well established that this is not my thing, but still, not too bad. Grade: C+ for me, probably a B+ for people who like this kind of beer. At this point World-Wide-Kev shows up. Did I mention that the bartender poured me a three quarter pint, instead of a quarter, since the Bohdi is so strong, and it's important that I have the opportunity to appreciate the Saison. I'm in beer heaven.
- Columbus Brewing Co. Apricot Ale. I love this beer in the bottle. It's even better on tap. It's the beer that you give to people who don't like fruit beer. It's not at all sweet, but you taste the apricots. The fruit in the on-tap version tastes so fresh. Grade: A.
- Columbus Brewing Co. 90 Shilling Ale. I wasn't about to give up this great seat. Especially when the line to the bar is 30-40 deep and I'm getting my drinks without the wait. Red in color. Tastes like a porter. It's actually a Scotch Ale. Not my thing. Grade: B-.
- Another Round of Bodhi. Yummm.
- Columbus Brewing Co. Turkey Neck Stout. Stout aged in Bourbon Barrels. Again, I do not taste the bourbon. It's not bad. World-Wide-Kev thinks that it tastes like Jaeger. At this point, I am embarrassed for him. He tells me that they have it at the bar in his office. They have a bar in his office. Yes, they have a bar in his office. Grade: C+.
- As we're leaving the CBC bar, the guy gives us a taste of the Saison mixed with the Bodhi. Good things happen when you're cleaning out the tap for the next beer. Very tasty, but not an official beverage. Grade: Inc.
- Holy shit, this place is shoulder-to-shoulder-to-elbow crowded. We fight our way to Barley's booth. WWK gets the Cherry Porter and I grab the Bombshell Blonde, which at this point, I can't fairly grade.
So, I've had probably 6 pints of really good beer. Time to get on the bicycle in the dark. Short version, I didn't die. I had a lot of great beer for $15, plus you keep your pint glass. That's how you start your tailgate eve tailgate. Oh yeah. You can't spell Trojan without OJ. Saw it on a t-shirt.
Labels:
beer
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Drafts from the Cultural Hub of the Midwest: Cold Hop British Style Ale
From Boulder Brewing Company
Web stuff: A unique brew with a unique golden hue. By unique golden hue, they mean just like every other beer. It's pleasantly fruity, floral hop aroma perfectly balance the mild sweetness of english grain, for a refreshing yet high-gravity British style ale.
What does it taste like? It does have a mild sweetness in the aftertaste. The hops are neither fruity nor floral, but they are not too bitter. It's good, but not remarkable and certainly not unique.
Grade: B
Web stuff: A unique brew with a unique golden hue. By unique golden hue, they mean just like every other beer. It's pleasantly fruity, floral hop aroma perfectly balance the mild sweetness of english grain, for a refreshing yet high-gravity British style ale.
What does it taste like? It does have a mild sweetness in the aftertaste. The hops are neither fruity nor floral, but they are not too bitter. It's good, but not remarkable and certainly not unique.
Grade: B
Labels:
beer
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Two Parts Wry Observations: There are two times of the year.
Football season, and waiting for football season.
This post is going to be all over the place. Plus, I can't believe that it took me three months to come up with Two Parts Wry.
The good ole Buckeyes are probably going to get smacked around by USC again this Saturday night. What better way to dull the pain then by playing the Brent Musberger drinking game. Some rules will have to be updated, such as "Gary my man", will be replaced "Herbie my man." I went to the OSU vs Navy game with my friend World-Wide-Kev last weekend. After watching that near debacle, I'm feeling good about staying home on Saturday night.
UPDATE! I felt good about staying home on Saturday night until I was offered a ticket. Thank you Sue. There has been one thing missing from these heart-breaking big game ass-kickings. Me. I was planning on keeping track of how many drinks someone would have to take playing the Brent game. There's always OSU v PSU.
In the "eww-gross but I would still try it" category, read this. Sake used to be made the same way, but now they use a mold spore to break down the starches. I'm more interested in this quote. "The last thing we want is some guy who came in from Ohio sitting there with his $18 crab cakes, sees a bunch of adults spitting in their hands." This guy from Ohio is more worried about what kind of New England chowder-head charges $18 for a fucking crab cake?
My fantasy football draft was last week. My team is the San-toke-io's, named after Super Bowl MVP, OSU alum, Santonio "fits the description" Holmes. I did not have a 4:20tini during the draft. I managed to grab the team's name-sake in the 6th round. Throw in Chad Ochocinco in the 5th round, Chris "Pussy", I mean "Beanie" Wells in the 4th, and Brett Favre in the 15th, I got myself a veritable Island of Misfit Toys.
Managed to work drinking into each topic. Not too shabby.
This post is going to be all over the place. Plus, I can't believe that it took me three months to come up with Two Parts Wry.
The good ole Buckeyes are probably going to get smacked around by USC again this Saturday night. What better way to dull the pain then by playing the Brent Musberger drinking game. Some rules will have to be updated, such as "Gary my man", will be replaced "Herbie my man." I went to the OSU vs Navy game with my friend World-Wide-Kev last weekend. After watching that near debacle, I'm feeling good about staying home on Saturday night.
UPDATE! I felt good about staying home on Saturday night until I was offered a ticket. Thank you Sue. There has been one thing missing from these heart-breaking big game ass-kickings. Me. I was planning on keeping track of how many drinks someone would have to take playing the Brent game. There's always OSU v PSU.
In the "eww-gross but I would still try it" category, read this. Sake used to be made the same way, but now they use a mold spore to break down the starches. I'm more interested in this quote. "The last thing we want is some guy who came in from Ohio sitting there with his $18 crab cakes, sees a bunch of adults spitting in their hands." This guy from Ohio is more worried about what kind of New England chowder-head charges $18 for a fucking crab cake?
My fantasy football draft was last week. My team is the San-toke-io's, named after Super Bowl MVP, OSU alum, Santonio "fits the description" Holmes. I did not have a 4:20tini during the draft. I managed to grab the team's name-sake in the 6th round. Throw in Chad Ochocinco in the 5th round, Chris "Pussy", I mean "Beanie" Wells in the 4th, and Brett Favre in the 15th, I got myself a veritable Island of Misfit Toys.
Managed to work drinking into each topic. Not too shabby.
Labels:
drinking game,
football
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Château d'Or et de Gueules
Costières De Nîmes. 2006
The name comes from the family crest. It means gold and red. (Gueules is the old french word for red.) Oddly enough, in modern french, ta geuele means shut up or more literally shut-your-mouth. Reminds me of a song.
What's the inexpensive red wine that tastes really good for all the chicks?
Costières De Nîmes.
They say that Costières De Nîmes is a bad mother...
Ta Gueule!
I'm only talking about Costières De Nîmes!
We can dig it.
It's a complicated wine for it's price point....
Web stuff:
WHERE IT COMES FROM :
The Château d’Or et de Gueules is situated in the doorstep of the camargue region, 4 kms from the village of St Gilles on the southern slope of Nîmes. The red stony soil and the exceptional climatic conditions (251 days of sun every year) give the grape a maximum maturity, allowing the production of fruity wines with velvety tannins.
Those tannins are beautiful, what are they velvet?
INGREDIENTS
90% old mourvèdre de 90 years age 10% Syrah
OUTPUT
10hl/ha don't care.
WINE MAKING PROCESS
The grape is harvest by hand early october. Extraction is done by “Pigeage”.
DESCRIPTION OF WINE
Impressive deep-coloured with a light spicy , caramel nose and a mouth filling mixed red and black fruits flavours. YES! A big complexity for a top elegant wine. A big complexity for a cheap red! Decant now to drink.
Cost: $9.99
Grade: B
Cost Adjusted Grade: A. Good cheap reds are hard to find.
The name comes from the family crest. It means gold and red. (Gueules is the old french word for red.) Oddly enough, in modern french, ta geuele means shut up or more literally shut-your-mouth. Reminds me of a song.
What's the inexpensive red wine that tastes really good for all the chicks?
Costières De Nîmes.
They say that Costières De Nîmes is a bad mother...
Ta Gueule!
I'm only talking about Costières De Nîmes!
We can dig it.
It's a complicated wine for it's price point....
Web stuff:
WHERE IT COMES FROM :
The Château d’Or et de Gueules is situated in the doorstep of the camargue region, 4 kms from the village of St Gilles on the southern slope of Nîmes. The red stony soil and the exceptional climatic conditions (251 days of sun every year) give the grape a maximum maturity, allowing the production of fruity wines with velvety tannins.
Those tannins are beautiful, what are they velvet?
INGREDIENTS
90% old mourvèdre de 90 years age 10% Syrah
OUTPUT
10hl/ha don't care.
WINE MAKING PROCESS
The grape is harvest by hand early october. Extraction is done by “Pigeage”.
DESCRIPTION OF WINE
Impressive deep-coloured with a light spicy , caramel nose and a mouth filling mixed red and black fruits flavours. YES! A big complexity for a top elegant wine. A big complexity for a cheap red! Decant now to drink.
Cost: $9.99
Grade: B
Cost Adjusted Grade: A. Good cheap reds are hard to find.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Tales from the top shelf: Gran Centenario Rosangel
Label stuff: Reposada (which means that it has been aged 2-11 months in a barrel) 100% de Agave. Hibiscus Infused.
It's a peachy pink looking tequila.
Web stuff: Rosangel is made from the world's most awarded Grand Centanario Reposada Tequila. That is like saying, Budweiser is the most awarded product from Annheiser-Busch. Mellowed to two months in port barrels and then infused with the subtly sweet flavor of hand-picked hibiscus flowers, the liquid takes on a sunset-pink hue aka peachy-pink that is distinctive and sophisticated. Sophisticated = girly. Enjoy sipping it on the rocks, as a shot, or explore it's versatility in a wide range of popular and niche cocktails.
Tasting notes: Rosangel yields a complex, perfumed nose with ripe fruit and floral notes I smell tequila, plus hints of vanilla no, just oak. The palate holds flavors of dried fruit nope, which leads to a smooth and gentle finish.
How does it really taste? Like a slightly sweet tequila. It is smooth. Not sure what a hibiscus tastes like. Probably not sweet, unless you are a bee or hummingbird.
Cost: $36.08
Grade: B+
Cost Adjusted Grade: B-
See, it's peachy pink!
Labels:
tequila
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Two Parts Wry Observations: The Rich Rod Revisited
Rich Rodriguez, Innovator of the Spread Offense and all-around D-Bag has had better weeks.
Ingredients: Two parts rye, 1 1/2 parts Thatcher's, dash of Angostura bitters.
Instructions:
- Combine all ingredients and shake for 12-14 hours.
- Pretend to Cry like a little girl.
- Strain into a cocktail glass and enjoy.
Labels:
football
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
What in the world is... Lochan Ora
Some bottles are purchased. Others are found. This is a found bottle.
After her grandparents had passed, my wife helped clean up the house, and found three nice treasures. A flask, an unopened Iron City beer can featuring Chuck Noll and The Chief, and a bottle of Lochan Ora.
What in the world is Lochan Ora?
It's a scotch based liqueur and not the kind of thing you would expect in their house. I was only lucky enough to know her grandfather for a few years. The fridge always had a supply of Busch Lite. He wasn't fancy, but he never went thirsty.
We have a bottle with a mystery, and we probably will never know the whole truth. There are different theories about this bottle. My wife thinks that Evelyn (her grandmother) hid it away from Wilbur (her grandfther). The thing is, someone clearly drank a shot, and only one shot from the bottle.
My theory is that Wilbur took one drink of this honey flavored, super sweet liqueur, made a face, grabbed a beer, and put it on the back of the shelf, where it could be forgotten.
Whether he liked it or not, it makes you think and reminisce a bit. Nothing wrong with that.
What does it taste like? Honey, with a slight Scotchy, almost cola flavor. It's good in small doses.
Grade: B
After her grandparents had passed, my wife helped clean up the house, and found three nice treasures. A flask, an unopened Iron City beer can featuring Chuck Noll and The Chief, and a bottle of Lochan Ora.
What in the world is Lochan Ora?
It's a scotch based liqueur and not the kind of thing you would expect in their house. I was only lucky enough to know her grandfather for a few years. The fridge always had a supply of Busch Lite. He wasn't fancy, but he never went thirsty.
We have a bottle with a mystery, and we probably will never know the whole truth. There are different theories about this bottle. My wife thinks that Evelyn (her grandmother) hid it away from Wilbur (her grandfther). The thing is, someone clearly drank a shot, and only one shot from the bottle.
My theory is that Wilbur took one drink of this honey flavored, super sweet liqueur, made a face, grabbed a beer, and put it on the back of the shelf, where it could be forgotten.
Whether he liked it or not, it makes you think and reminisce a bit. Nothing wrong with that.
What does it taste like? Honey, with a slight Scotchy, almost cola flavor. It's good in small doses.
Grade: B
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