Thursday, October 13, 2011

Wry World of Sports: 3/5 of BoSox Rotation Finds Baseball To Be Just As Boring As You Do

We're just sitting here; waiting to die.
To the surprise of no one under the age of 70, baseball players find the game to be a dull, ponderous, soul crushing waste of time, just like the 99% of Americans not on Social Security.

Who could blame Boston Red Sox Pitchers Josh Beckett, Jon Lester, and John Lackey for drinking beer, eating chicken, and playing video games on days when they were not playing.  Fortunately, the three were available for comment.

Josh Becket: "You should see how much I have to drink to get through the days that I have to play this stupid game."

Jon Lester:  "I actually had to miss some Monday Night Football because we were playing on the same night.  How fucked up is that?"

John Lackey:  "How long is the season?  I think it's 500 games.  Feels like a million.  We start in April, and finish the world series at around... shit, I've pitched in the world series; I think it was around Christmas.  It had to be around Christmas because people were dressed in funny costumes in the stands.  Whatever, I was drunk."

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