Monday, October 24, 2011

The Power Rye 10-24-11 BS Ranking

It's not college football, but for any Ohio State fan who thinks that they are tedious to watch this year, like me.  Try watching the Cleveland Browns vs the Seattle Seahawks.  Poopy, poopy, poopy.

The Power Rye, or Power Wry, depending on my mood, is the most accurate ranking of college football available.  Each week, I feed all of the facts, figures, stats, scores and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix.  Two days later, I pinch off a post.
  1. LSU (8-0) Defeated Auburn 45-19.  The NCAA let Auburn off the hook, but the rest of the SEC has not.
  2. Alabama (8-0) Defeated Tennessee 37-6.  I've run out of Tennessee jokes.  I only had one.  And it was bad.  See last week.
  3. Oklahoma State (7-0) Defeated Missouri 45-24.  The Big 12 (10(9)) conference presents the SEC game of the week.
  4. Stanford (7-0) Defeated Washington 65-21.  Most people don't know this, kids that can't get into Stanford, go to a JUCO named Lamont.  It's full of big dummies.
  5. Clemson (8-0) Defeated North Carolina 58-38.  "Clemson and Clover" is my favorite song by Tommy James and the Shondells.
  6. Oregon (6-1) Defeated Colorado 45-2.  Two?  Two!
  7. Boise St. (7-0) Defeated Air Force 37-26.
  8. Michigan State (6-1) Defeated Wisconsin (37-31).  First of all, good call by the replay booth.  Second of all, how in the hell did you lose to fucking Notre Dame?  Was it alumni day and you let Curtis Painter play for fun?  Seriously that S.O.B. damn near cost me my fantasy league game two weeks in a row.  First, he gives the Bengals defense 10 points in the last two minutes of the game (2 int's, one was a pick-6, I lose by less than a point).  This week, I'm up by 70 going into last night's game, and my opponent has Jimmy Graham, Darren Sproles, and John Kasay, and that sorry excuse for a qb can't get a damn first down.  Wait a minute.  Curtis Painter played for Purdue.  Sorry Sparty.  That still doesn't get you off the hook for losing to Notre Dame.
  9. Oklahoma (6-1) Lost to Texas Tech (41-38).  The key to the Tech Victory.  Craig James's kid is still locked in the broom closet.
  10. Wisconsin (6-1) Lost to the Curtis Painter led Michigan State Spartans.  Whoops.

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