Sunday, August 30, 2009

Two Parts Wry Observations: One of these things is not like the others

I am done with my spring/summer blockbuster 2009 movie viewing.

For no particular reason, other than feel like it. I'm going to list the movies, give them a pithy phrase for an award, and match that phrase to a beer/wine/spirit. Admittedly, it's a goofy concept, but fun for me. Beware, here thar be spoilers!

The Watchmen: Almost a carbon copy. They basically filmed the comic, except they replaced the stupid ending with one that is slightly less stupid. The drink for this movie is The Yamazaki. It is a scotch style whiskey from Japan. You can almost swear that you are drinking Scotch.

Wolverine: Cliché, cliché, cliché. Really a shame, because Hugh Jackman rocks as the character, and it's got some cool stuff in it, but ultimately, you can tell it was written by a bunch of hacks. Just like the jackasses who write the labels for Brew Dog Beers.

Star Trek: Old is young again. Buckeye Beer The guys that relaunched the beer got an old-timer to tell them if they got the recipe correct. Cool story. Too bad the beer kinda sucks. The movie was good though, except for the stupid ice creature that popped up out of no-where so that Kirk could run into a cave and meet old Spock.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: Why did they change that award! I swore that I would finish watching the movies before I read the books. I know me, and I knew that I would get irked with what they changed. After I saw the Order of the Phoenix, I caved and read the books.

Why did they drop the opening scene from the book? It was exciting. When I read it, I kept thinking, I can't wait to see this in the movies. Bastards! The drink for this movie is Thomas Hardy Ale 2008. The 2007 was bitter, complex, and delicious. The 08 is syrupy. It's meant to be aged. Check back in 5, 15, and 20 years to see if it has improved.

Julie & Julia: The only chick flick that I have seen this year. And Thatcher's is really the only chick drink that I have reviewed.

District 9: Not as good as the hype, but pretty darned good. Sazerac Rye. District 9 was made out to be the greatest sci-fi concept in years. It just goes to show how low the bar has been set. It's great, but not end-all-be-all great. Sazerac is supposed to be THE RYE. It's good, but not the end-all-be-all of ryes.

Inglourious Basterds: Well made, but ultimately soulless. The first half had me riveted. But ultimately, while it's cool to kill Hitler, it makes your movie stupid and pointless. Every over-oaked Chardonnay gets this award.

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