Monday, November 28, 2011

The Power Wry 11-28-11 BS Ranking: Urban Meyer is no Longer a Dick

We have reassessed the situation, and he has been reclassified as "Driven."  By we, I mean the royal we, as in that guy at Two Parts Rye is a royal asshole.
  1. LSU (12-0) Defeated Arkansas 41-17.  No truth to the rumor that Bobby Petrino quit at halftime.  You can see how that rumor came about, because he is a big quitter.  As a matter of fact, he's quitting the top 10 this week.
  2. Oklahoma State (10-1) Did not play.  You sneaky bastards.
  3. Alabama (11-1) Defeated Auburn 42-14.  And no trees were harmed in the process.
  4. Stanford (11-1) Defeated Notre Dame 28-14.  You should have hired Urban Meyer a few years ago. Oh yeah, he turned down the job.  Hmmm.
  5. USC (9-2) Defeated UCLA by a whole bunch.  Sanctions, we don't need no stinking sanctions.  Really, we don't.
  6. Houston (12-0) Defeated Tulsa 48-16.  Underachievers.
  7. Oregon (10-2) Defeated Oregon State 49-21.  The Lewis vs Clark bowl.
  8. South Carolina (9-2) Defeated Clemson 34-13.  Spurrier gave himself the game ball.  Again.
  9. Michigan State (10-2) Defeated Northwestern 31-17.  Token Big 10(12) team.
  10. Virginia Tech (11-1) Defeated Virginia 38-0.  Pollsters have put them in the top 5, which goes to show that this is the only ranking worth reading.

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