The Power Wry BS Rankings 11/30/10

The Power Rye is the most accurate ranking of college football available. Each week, I feed all the facts, figures, stats, scores, and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix. Two days later, I pinch off a post.

1. Auburn (12-0) Defeated Alabama 28-27.  Nick Saban had a flashback to his days at Michigan St.
2. Oregon (11-0) Defeated Arizona 48-29.  Refs fucked Arizona.
3. Wisconsin (11-1) Defeated Northwestern 70-23.  70 points again.  Look at me mommy!  Look at me!
4. Ohio State (11-1) Defeated Michigan 37-7.  OK.  Ohio State is sitting at #6 in the BCS rankings.  We only need 4 or the following 5 to happen in order to get in the title game, in order of plausibility.  a) Someone finds the paper trail and Auburn has to vacate its wins.  b) Standford fails a drug test.  c) The entire Wisconsin team is implicated in the Lufthansa Heist of 1978.  d)  TCU goes on a Mission Trip.  e) Oregon State Defeats Oregon.  It could happen.
5. Michigan State (11-1) Defeated Penn St. 28-22.  Waah!  We won't get a BCS game because we're irrevelant... and we got our asses kicked by Iowa.
6. Stanford (11-1) Defeated Oregon St. 38-0.  That vapor trail is from Jim Harbaugh bolting for greener pastures.
7. South Carolina (9-3) Defeated Clemson 29-7.  Man, the ACC sucks.
8. Arkansas (10-2) Defeated LSU 31-23.  Oh Ryan Mallett.  If only you could were 150 lbs and fragile.  You could have really been something at Michigan.
9. LSU (10-2) See above.  Appreciate Les Miles people or Ann Arbor will.
10. TCU (12-0) Defeated New Mexico 66-17.  Looking forward to losing by 50 to Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl.

The Power Wry BS Rankings 11/25/10

The Power Rye is the most accurate ranking of college football available. Each week, I feed all the facts, figures, stats, scores, and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix. Two days later, I pinch off a post.

Week in review:  Due to a virulent case of monkey sars, this ranking is late.  I considered taking a bye this week, but bye's are for pussies.

1. Auburn (11-0) Bye.  Mama's Boys.
2. Oregon (10-0) Bye.  Pansies.
3. LSU (10-1) Defeated Mississippi 43-26.  Nancy Boys. Oh... they played.  Sorry, I was on a roll.  Well done.
4. Wisconsin (10-1) Defeated Michigan 48-28.  Everybody does.
5. Ohio State (10-1) Defeated Iowa 20-17.  Devier Posey just arrived after being forced to walk home from Kinnick Stadium.
6. Alabama (9-2) Defeated Georgia St 63-7.  How did they get Lord Saban to play on Thursday?
7. Michigan State (10-1) Defeated Purdue 35-31.  Once again, defying the odds by not choking.
8. Stanford (10-1) Defeated Cal 48-14.  Battle of the hippies.
9. South Carolina (8-3) Defeated Troy 69-24.  Steve Spurrier has Macedonian ancestry.
10. Boise St (11-0) Defeated Fresno St 51-0.  Boise leapfrogs TCU because they played their high school game in the rain.

Preview for the upcoming slate.


I'll be in the shoe sharing the love.



The Power Wry BS Rankings 11/16/10

The Power Rye is the most accurate ranking of college football available. Each week, I feed all the facts, figures, stats, scores, and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix. Two days later, I pinch off a post.


Week in review:  Move along.  Nothing to see here.  (Auburn's new cheer.)

1. Auburn (11-0) Defeated Georgia 49-31.  How does one fit $200k in unmarked bills in a collection plate?
2. Oregon (10-0) Defeated Cal 15-13.  That was just the 1st quarter score, right?
3. LSU (9-1) Defeated LA-Monroe 51-0.  You better.
4. Wisconsin (9-1) Defeated Indiana 83-20.  Scott Tolzein had a triple double with 18 points, 12 assists, and 18 boards.
5. Ohio State (9-1) Defeated Penn State 38-14.  The story making the rounds is that coach Jim Tressel fired up the team at halftime with a rare display of emotion.  We give you the before and after. 




Before.

  

... and After. Whoo. Scary. As you can see, all of the color was drained from his sweater vest to his face.
6. Alabama (8-2) Defeated Mississippi State 30-10.  I have three tv's in my man-cave.  That's the one I didn't watch.
7. Nebraska (9-1) Defeated Kansas 20-3.  Another classic Big 12 rivalry bites the dust.
8. Michigan State (9-1) Bye.  The Spartans spent their week off hi-jacking the Iowa team bus, and finishing the job that they left undone 3 weeks ago.  Choking against Northwestern.
9. Stanford (9-1) Defeated Arizona State 17-13.  Does anyone not eating granola still think that Stanford is a legit contender?  I don't.
10. TCU (11-0) Defeated San Diego State 40-35.  I haven't seen a high school team recruit this well since Massilllon Washington in 1981.

Power Rye BS Rankings 11/9/10

The Power Rye is the most accurate ranking of college football available. Each week, I feed all the facts, figures, stats, scores, and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix. Two days later, I pinch off a post.

Week in Review:  Surprise, surprise.  The SEC is shady.

1. Auburn (10-0) Defeated Chattanooga 62-24.  Surprisingly, their mascot is the Mocs (as in mocking bird), not the Choo-Choos.
2. Oregon (9-0) Defeated Washington 53-16.  Still waiting for Jake Locker to do something.  He has an excuse this week, he had a boo-boo.
3. LSU (8-1) Defeated Alabama 24-21.  Memo to whomever plays LSU.  It will be a trick play.
4. Wisconsin (8-1) Defeated Purdue 34-13.  Wisconsin took a nap during the first half and still only trailed 10-6.
5. Ohio State (7-1) Bye.  Jim Tressel is up to his old tricks.  Don't play, surge up the standings.
6. Stanford (7-1) Defeated Arizona 42-17.  Stanford moves up because everyone else that was ahead of them stunk up the joint.
7. 
   Alabama (7-2) Lost to LSU.  Too busy leaking stories about Cam Newton to game plan.
8. Iowa (7-2) Defeated Indiana 18-13.  Seriously?
9. Nebraska (8-1) Defeated Iowa State 21-20.  I mean seriously?
10. TCU (10-0) Defeated Utah 47-7.  Number one sham program in the nation.

Received for Review: 1800 Silver Tequila

This tequila is peppery and smokey, with agave sweetness and an oak finish.  On ice it's a nice sipper and it stands up well in a cocktail.

When I first got the bottle, I thought that this was the most difficult stopper in the world to open.  Turns out that there is a reason for that.  Christopher Moltisanti will explain.

Missing from this video, is how you actually get the stopper out without dumping tequila all over the place, or losing it back down the bottle.  Fear not.  Here is the solution.  Frankly, it doesn't work that well, but it's cute.  To be fair.  I have had drank 5 shots of 1800 and my technique may be suspect.

The "I don't have time for all that foo foo crap" margarita:

1 1/2 parts 1800 tequila
1/2 part grand marnier
squeeze the juice of one lime wedge into the glass in order to avoid scurvy

What in the world is...Punt E Mes?

I thought that it was Italian for "whore foot".  Turns out that it means point and a half; which doesn't make a lot of sense either.

It's a sweet vermouth from Italy.  It has the same odd ketchup flavor that you fine with Martini and Rossi or Boissiere when you taste it neat.  It does make a really nice Manhattan, as long as you use a rough around the edges rye like Old Overholt..  At $20 a bottle, I'll break it out when I want to impress people, and stick with my trusty $5 bottle of Gallo the rest of the time.

Power Rye BS Rankings 11/1/10

The Power Rye is the most accurate ranking of college football available. Each week, I feed all the facts, figures, stats, scores, and a pint of rye whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix. Two days later, I pinch off a post.


Week in Review:  Sparty finally showed his true colors.  As did Missou.

1. Auburn (9-0) Defeated Missippi 51-31.  Ackbar was wrong.

2. Alabama (7-1) Bye.  Even the bye week had a bye before they played Alabama.
3. Oregon (8-0) Defeated USC 53-32.  USC has had trouble navigating the salary cap era.  Look for Lane Kiffen to ruin your favorite franchise/program soon.
4. Wisconsin (7-1) Bye.  Nobody noticed.
5. LSU (7-1) Bye.  Les Miles clock management haunts him again.  He showed up at the stadium on Saturday and missed a golden opportunity to sleep in.
6. Ohio State (7-1) Defeated Minnesota 52-10.  For the first time this season, Ohio State did not lose 15 defensive backs to season ending injuries.
7. Iowa (6-2) Defeated Michigan State 37-6.  They fought the battle of Thermopylae in a corn field.  Whoops.
8. Nebraska (7-1) Defeated Missouri 31-17.  How in the hell did they lose to Texas?
9. Stanford (7-1) Defeated Washington 41-0.  Didn't watch it, and neither did you.
10. Utah (8-0) Defeated Air Force 28-23.  ...and nobody cares.