Patio Pounder: Bio-Weinguth. u. m. hofer Grüner Veltliner

That's easy for you to say.

What is it exactly? Grüner Veltliner is a white wine grape grown in Austria. It's known for having a nice mineral quality. This wine is also quite acidic.

Percent Alcohol: 12%

Price: $11.99

Whoa up there Rockerfeller, Patio pounders are supposed to be super cheap! It comes in a liter bottle. (750 ml is normal in the US of A) Also, it is a pop top, so I can use it to bottle my home brew. Double Bonus!

Grade: B
Double Bonus Cost adjusted Grade: A-

Dangerous Brew: Rogue Captain Sig's Northwestern Ale

12o miles northeast of Dutch Harbor, a crab boat is having a beer named after it.

Bottle Stuff: Dedicated to the Hansen brothers - Sig, Edgar, and Norman - The Rogues of the Bering Sea. Portions of proceeds of Northwestern Ale will support the Fisherman's fund.

Anything else? The bottle actually actually lists the ingredients: Pale 2-row, Munich, Carestan, & Chocolate Malts; Horizon, Amirillo, Cascade & Rogue Farm Willamette Hops, Pacman Yeast & Free Range Coastal Water.

What's it like? Pretty straight forward amber ale. It's right on the edge of being too bitter. Some of the hops listed can bring a nice floral quality to a beer. I'm guessing that it's mostly Cascade. It's listed as 80 IBU which is pretty darn bitter.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Bitterness_Units_scale

Cost: $5.49 for a 20 oz bottle
Grade: B
Cost adjusted grade: B

What in the world is... Thatcher's Apple Spice Ginger

What is it? It is an organic artisan liqueur

Ooh la la... I'm just doing my part to save the planet.

What does it taste like? Just like apple cider. It's only 30 proof, which is the equivalent of a strong red wine.

Any good stuff on the label? From the outskirts of Temperance, MI, surrounded by fields of corn, you will find the Thatcher's distiller. In here you won't find large automated machines, instead you'll find people. You see, people are the true spirit of Thatcher's.... I can't make this shit up.

What should it say? Here in Michigan, we have pansy football teams, so we make a pansy drink.

Any cocktail ideas? Two parts rye, 1 1/2 parts Thatcher's, dash of Angostura bitters. We'll call it the Rich Rod.

Finally worked in the name of the blog. Sure did!

Price: $16.99
Grade: B-
Cost adjusted Grade: B

How about a beer review!

HE'BREW Genesis Ale

How do they describe it? A light and delicious brown ale.
Are they right? Yep

What would the late great, god we miss him, Myron Cope say? YOI!
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/audio/play/267031/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myron_Cope

What would the fat, towel stomping heathen ,Len'Whale White say? Needs more cookie dough.
http://nfl.fanhouse.com/2008/12/21/lendale-white-stomps-on-terrible-towel/

Price: $8.99 a six pack
Grade: B
Cost Adjusted Grade: B

Tales from the top shelf: Evan Williams Single Barrel Vintage 1998

From the label

Bottled: 11-23-98
Barrel no: 68
Bottled on: 1-4-08

How is it? Smooth with a long finish. Very nice.

Any smart ass comments? Nope.

Well that sucked. Actually, it was quite tasty.

Price: $27.15
Grade: B
Cost adjusted Grade: B

Patio Pounder: Posenato Pino Grigio Delle Venezia 2007

More label stuff: indicazione geogrifica tipica, Which means it's typical. Sounds better in Italian.

It's hot out! Cheap white wine is a dinner requirement.

What does it taste likc? It tastes like pinot grigio.

Thanks a-hole, what does that mean? It's tart, but not in a British hooker way. Pleasantly sour.

Price: 7.99
Grade: C-
Cost adjusted grade: C

A word or two about the rating system

I'm using the standard letter grades that we all grew up with. I want to make a point, a C is not a bad thing. The drinks are not trying to get into an ivy league school. I"m also doing a price adjusted grade. You know some things are good for the price. Others are good, but not at that price.

Sample letter grade reactions:

A: Wow!

B: Yummmm....y

C: Meh? i.e. volume will make up for quality.

D: Nope (Head shaking left and right)

F: Egads, blech, ugh...etc

Tales from the top shelf: Pappy Van Winkle's 23 year old family reserve

You should be jealous.

Stupid wine tasting style note: Oak... duh.

Good stuff philosophy: Whether it's wine or whiskey. The good stuff has a lot going on. You taste something at the first sip. A little something else after that, and another flavor lingers after the drink. aka, the finish. The flavor reminds you of something, berry, citrus, etc... but the descriptions tend to get out of hand. The most ridiculous thing that I have seen in a wine review is saddle leather. Who own's a saddle? Even more interesting, who's licking it?

Serious tasting notes: The really old stuff is really concentrated. This is caused by evaporation, which is also called the angel's share. I rarely drink more than half a shot of really high quality liquor. This is good for my budget. I also realize that my taste buds get overloaded after the first couple of sips. It has a barley quality to it that reminds me of irish whiskey. Knowing that all bourbon is at least 50% corn, I'm intriqued.

Price: It was a gift. Thank you cousin-in-law David. It's pricey, look it up. Also, not available in Ohio.

Grade: A

Cost Adjusted Grade: A

Why Vodka came in last.

Vodka is a mixer. It's a neutral spirit; best used in foo foo coctails. The only acceptable uses are extracts, which mix well with tonic, and cleaning a wound.

Premium vodka is for schmuck's. Follow the link below for proof.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/01/26/dining/26wine.html

The worst thing in my bar

The drink: Jim Beam Red Stag
Childish review: More like Red Gag
Looking at the bright side review: It tastes better than Nyquil. Weird, my sinuses just cleared up.

I wanted to start with a positive review. I decided to do a PSA instead. Don't buy it. Don't drink it.

This showed up in Ohio a month or so ago. New whiskey, gotta have it. Jim Beam is decent. I think their Rye is pretty good, especially at the price. I like manhattan's. Cherry flavored bourbon would be perfect. Right? The label says that it is infused with natural flavors. Apparently sugar flavored ass is a natural flavor.

Approximate price: $18.95
The grade: F
Cost adjusted grade: F-

Ranking the staples

I consider Scotch, Irish, Bourbon and Canadian to be their own category of whiskey. This ranking is a general ranking of styles. There are cognacs that I like better than most bourbons. This is looking at your typical $20-$30 bottle.

1. Bourbon. America's drink.
2. Irish. Beer is made from barley. Irish is made from barley. It's not a coincidence folks.
3. Cognac. The snootiest of the staples happens to be one of the tastiest.
4. Gin. I have drank so many G&T's, I am immune to malaria.
5. Tequila. A lot of folks feel about this like I feel about Jack Daniel's. Vomiting up your toe nails will do that to a person.
6. Scotch. I've been in denial for along time. The truth is, I'm not a fan of peat.
7. Canadian. It'll get you drunk.
8. Rum. Too sweet.
9. Brandy. Also, too sweet.
10. Vodka. For half a day, this blog was called Vodka is for girls.

Just what we need, another drinking blog

Just so you know. I'm not messing around.

We have the top shelf.

The OK shelf.

The Wife shelf.