The Power Wry: Pussy Seahawks fan sues Shaun Ellis

Robert Lawson, who will from this point on be referred to as Susan, is suing New York Jets Nose Tackle Shaun Ellis and the Jets themselves for hitting him with a chunk of snow.  Susan, who still hasn't got over the fact that his team lost by double digits in Super Bowl XL, is suing for past and future medical expenses, past and future loss of earning (his mommy did cut his allowance), partial impairment of earnings and earning capacity (who would hire a pussy like Susan?), mental and physical pain and suffering (It is difficult to accept the fact that you are a giant wuss).  Medical experts are divided on the case.  Is Susan a giant pussy or just a money grubbing douche?  Why not both?

Most people are shocked to find out that there is a football team in Seattle.