Today is National Scotch Day. Hence: Tales from the Top Shelf - The Balvenie 21

“Well, between Scotch and nothin', I suppose I'd take Scotch. It's the nearest thing to good moonshine I can find.” - William Faulkner

Which shows to show you that one of the following are true about William Faulkner

1. He never drank moonshine.
2. He never drank Scotch.
3. He never drank Scotch nor Moonshine.
   

So, it's national Scotch day.  Whose nation?  Ours I guess.  I'm not sure that it's really a true national day. The whole thing may be a trick by Scotch distributors to get some free pub.  Today, it worked.

For those of you who are new to Two Parts Rye, Scotch isn't really my thing.  You see, I used to lead a double life.  Pretending that I like Scotch, yep, I wanted to be sophisticated.  But it was all a lie.  A LIE I TELL YOU.  I am now comfortable enough with myself to admit the truth.  The stuff tastes like someone left an old shoe in a perfectly good Irish Whiskey.  That was liberating.

You can decide for yourself as to whether or not that's a condemnation of Scotch, or my stinky feet.

From the web:  To create The Balvenie PortWood Aged 21 Years, a marriage of rare Balvenie is transferred to port casks, or pipes, which have held fine port wines. Here it is sampled regularly by The Balvenie Malt Master to ensure that just the right amount of character is imparted by the port casks, enhancing and developing the single malt whilst preserving its original characteristics.


Tasting Notes: Mint, leather, menthol, nutmeg, tobacco, and a hint of Doctor Scholl's.
Grade: B+

Theoretically, this will show up on The Balvenie's Facebook page.  If it does, we'll know that they never actually read this post, or they have a sense of humor.

Cocktail Test Drive: The Vesper

Scroll down two posts for the video for this recipe.

The Vesper is basically a variation on the Martini.  It has 3 shots of gin, 1 shot of vodka, which girlies it up a bit, and 1/2 a shot of fortified wine, in this case, Lillet Blanc.  I skipped the lemon twist because I don't have time for that crap.

This is not a cocktail for the pinkie out crowd.  It's booze, more booze, and a dash of more booze.  I approve.

Jim's Vesper (After she drowned)

3 Shots Gordons
1 Shot Vodka
1 Shot Lillet Blanc
1 dash of Grapefruit Bitters, in lieu of a lemon twist, because you don't garnish when you drink alone.

Gordon's London Dry Gin

Here's the second part of our exploration of the Vesper Cocktail.  I'd link to the recipe and the Kina Lillet review, but it's just one post down, you can handle the scrolling.  If you haven't read it yet, go ahead and check it out.

Gordon's Gin is the most popular gin in the world.  My research on the web says that it is made in 150 countries.  It's on the web, so it must be true.  My bottle was distilled in Norwalk, CT.  US of A.

Why is it so popular?  It's cheap.  At approximately $10 a bottle, you're not going to break the bank.  Flavor-wise, I get juniper.  Any other complexity that you may detect is merely wishful thinking.  As far as my house gin challenge goes, I'm sticking with Whitley Neill.

Grade: C
Cost Adjusted Grade: B

What in the world is Kina Lillet?

Once upon a time (way before this movie) it was a french aperitif, containing quinine, and it was sort of, kinda, not really made famous in Casino Royale.  Nowadays it's called Lillet Blanc.  The old recipe for Kina Lillet contained quinine, think tonic water.  Now it's a somewhat sweet and citrus flavored.  It makes me think of dry vermouth, except that it tastes good.  We'll be reviewing all of the ingredients for the Vesper cocktail, with the exception of the non-descript vodka.  So in other words, check back in later for a review of Gordon's Gin.

Cost: $18

Grade: B

Le Plus-Que-Parfait Manhattan

2 parts bourbon
1 part sweet vermouth
1 part lillet blanc
1 dash fee's west india orange bitters

Wry Observations: Curb Side Recycling

What's wrong with this picture?

LeKing is Dead. Long Live LeQueen

Have fun being D-Wade's errand boy quitter.

Oh yeah, he's an alien too.  I can't keep your secret any longer traitor.

Maker's 46

I stopped by the liquor store with the intentions of grabbing a bottle of Maker's Mark for the house bourbon challenge.  Lo-and-behold, we just got in Maker's Mark 46 and there wasn't much of it left in the store.  So, it got purchased instead.

Bit of history.  Maker's Mark has been a one product company for-since-1956 (If you ignore their the defunct Maker's Black, and Maker's Mint Julep).  This product uses the standard Maker's Mark as it's base, and ages it longer with wood staves to add more flavor.  It's called 46, because it uses No. 46 French Oak Staves.  God help us, our bourbon has been inspired by French bureaucracy.  It clocks in at 94 proof and has quite a burn.  Adding a splash of water reveals a nice cinnamon flavor.

Grade: B
Cost: $31.95

Sangria Blanca

We had company on Friday.  It was Cousin David's brother and Sister-In-Law.  Cousins Barry & Maggie.  They're adventurous eaters, so I take the opportunity to show off when they come to town.  It was a spanish style meal with tapas to start off, and finishing with a big dish of paella.  We were dangerously close to over-dosing on paprika.  The drink of the evening was a white wine sangria.

Let me go give you my recipe first, then I'll give you some earth shatteringly brilliant observations.

Jim's Sangria Blanca:

1 Bottle of Pinot Grigio
2 shots Grand Marnier
1 shot St. Germaine
2 shots Beefeater Summer Gin
1 shot Licor 43
Juice from 1 orange
Juice from 1lime
Orange and Lime slices
Chill and serve.

The first observation is that the there is a fine line between sangria and hairy buffalo.  I believe that a hairy buffalo party is a required prerequisite for any bachelors degree, and counts as 1 credit hour towards the general curriculum.

The second observation came to me because I had never made Sangria before.  Would this actually taste good?  What if it doesn't?  The answer is simple.  Just add ginger ale.  Ginger ale is the duct tape of the cocktail world.

This cocktail tastes like shit.
How bout a splash of ginger ale?
That ain't half-bad.

This recipe does not need ginger ale.

This Means Something

Well we did it.  We've finally hit our 50th state.  Though not with rave reviews.  Wyoming is the last state to visit our glorious drinking blog, and they don't appreciate being called lame.

Allow me to quote the brave poster: Anonymous  "Good! Then stay the Hell out, we don't want you here anyway."

My first reaction is that I can't decide what surprises me more, that they have the internet in Wyoming, or that they have electricity.  What's next, indoor plumbing?

I was eating dinner tonight and it hit me.

Devil's Tower Wyoming is where the Alien Invasion of the NBA Started!

Of course they hate this blog.  I'm the one who exposed their sinister plot.  Take that Xenu.

Now the only question is, which one of these green blooded bastards is after me?

Colorado Whiskey

I've had this on the shelf for a while and I wanted to review it.  I read something today that prompted me to get off the pot and get this post up.

Cigar Aficianado had a small article about American Craft Spirits.  In this article, Colorado Whiskey is described as tasting like a fine Single Malt Scotch.  No.  No.  No.  Scotch tastes like monkey butt.  This is fine spirit, crafted in the good old US-Of-A, that tastes like an Irish whiskey.  There is nothing smokey, peaty, or gangrenous toe about this whiskey.

It's got honey, cinnamon, toasted nuts, and mint.  The bottles have a pithy hand written note as to what was going on when they were bottled.  Mine says "Listening to '09 ALCS Game 4".

Grade: A-
Cost: $50

Why do I have Cigar Aficianado?  I had to burn expiring airline miles, and it was either that, or a subscription to Diabetes Forecast.

How a drunk guy in Louisiana saved my softball game

First, enjoy.

I first saw this video at the Zane Lamprey tour that came through town a few weeks back.

So, it's softball Sunday.  World Wide Kev is our pitcher, but as usual, he's out of town.  Once again I'm asking myself, just where in the hell is World Wide Kev?  The $6MMm is our sub pitcher.  It's the top of the 7th, were down, they got a lot folks on base with 1 out.  He's walked a batter or two and I could tell that he's kinda struggling.  Now as the coach, you gotta know how to motivate your players.

I yell to him, "This is almost as bad as the time you got arrested for drunk driving on a lawn mower"

We yell back and forth "I know my rights!"  It's even funnier because this is a church league and we're Methodists.

He mows down the next two batters, we rally for a 28-28 tie.  Tie's suck, but since it's World Cup season, we'll take the Canadian Victory.

In regards to the drunk guy on a lawnmower... The adventure continues.

House Bourbon Challenge: Old Ezra 7 vs Buffalo Trace

Let's cut to the chase.  Old Ezra may be the best $10 whiskey that you will ever buy.  It's not good enough to displace Buffalo Trace as my go to house bourbon, but it's pretty darn good.

It clocks in at 101 proof, which is a bit too warm.  There's oak and cinnamon and nut flavor.  It's also  a little bit tannic.  Adding a splash of water helps with the heat and bitterness, and actually brings out some sweetness when drinking it "neat".

And that's the problem.  My house bourbon and rye are going to be used in a Manhattan.  With the higher proof, you end up adding more vermouth to counteract the heat, and the whole thing gets out of whack.  Can't have it.

Grade: C+
Cost: $10
Cost Adjusted Grade: B

What in the world is Beniikko?

From the web: 
Type: Honkaku - Distilled from Beni-Satsuma Sweet Potatoes


Beniikko is an unique Honkaku Shochu distilled from 100% Beni-Satsuma sweet potatoes. Unlike the most shochu that has been produced with Kome(rice)Koji Beniikko is made with Imo(sweet potatoes)Koji. This is the secret to the magnificent rich taste and smell.

Alcohol: 25%
Size: 750ml

Which leads me to ask: What in the world is Shochu?  Shochu is a distilled spirit from Japan that can be made from many raw materials.  Honkaku mens that it was made at a single distillery.  This particular beverage is made from the super special Beni-Satsuma sweet potato.  Wow that sounds great!

Well.... I would call it a raw vodka.  In this example, the flavor is a raw, unwashed sweet potato, which I will euphemistically describe as earthy.  I keep thinking that I don't like it.  But I've refilled my glass 4 times while doing this post.  I'm sure that I did that for purely scientific purposes.  My biggest gripe is the price.

Grade: B-
Cost: $35
Cost Adjusted Grade: C-

A Drinking Education

Two Parts Rye is one of the 50 Amazing Mixology Blogs.  Don't believe me?  Two years later, the assholes asked me to remove the link.  I come in at number 12, which is appropriate.  It's Terry Bradshaw's number.

That's two plugs in a row.  I promise to get back to drinkin' soon.

Drinking Made Easy

There are two people who I admire for having great career ideas.  The first is Mel Kiper, the original draftnik.  He made himself an expert on the college players entering the NFL draft.  He's a guy who had a great idea, and I'm jealous.

There is one man who has an ever better job than Mel, that's Zane Lamprey.  He's the clever/lucky bastard on the right.  Zane has been hosting a show called Three Sheets, in which he travels the world, getting drunk, and telling jokes.  That's right, he had the best idea ever.  It started off on a TV network called MOJO, which is now defunct.  It moved to the Fine Living Network after that.  I had never heard of FLN either, but was pleased to find it buried on the digital tier.  The show is now unofficially/officially moving to the Travel Channel for it's next season.  He's also filming a US centric version of the show for HDNet.

Why am I pimping this show?  Because I got comp'd for his Drinking Made Easy tour in Columbus on Wednesday.  (Thank you Kelly from bigMETHOD PR).  I took the $6MMm with me and we had a blast.  You are probably asking yourself, where in the world was World Wide Kev?  He was packing for a trip.  No shit.  He really was.

Now that my hangover has passed, I can talk about the show.  Here's the remaining tour schedule.

If you have ever seen Three Sheets, then you've got to go.  You'll have a great time.  His opening act is a comedian named Marc Ryan.  I've never heard of him either, but he's pretty damned funny.  After that, some poor schmoe in a Pleepleus costume comes out and does a few minutes of jokes.  Next is Steve McKenna , who does about 5 minutes of material, which basically consists of him drinking.  That's not a disappointing thing.  He's Steve McKenna, the quentisential drunk friend.  After that, Zane's act is basically a power point lesson on booze.  Good stuff.

If you like to have comedians make fun of you at their show.  I recommend that you wear a t-shirt with kittens on it.  You will be the center of attention.

I have to give the Newport Music Hall props for selling 32 oz Columbus Pale Drafts for $7.50.  That's a great concert bargain.

Grade: A

It tastes good, but it's the wrong shade of yellow

My friend Taylor over at Wine Enclave put up a post a while back about how he felt ripped off by buying a several bottles of wine that were highly rated by both Robert Park and Wine Advocate.  It made me wonder about the numbers behind these rating systems.

The 100 point wine scales is shrouded in mystery.  The higher the better.  Over 90 and its good.  That's all that I can tell you.  I find the categories on the beer sites like Beer Advocate and Beer Rating to be somewhat amusing.

Here are the factors at Beer Advocate.

Look: Who cares
Smell: Important
Taste: Important
Feel: Occassionaly interesting, but ultimately irrelevant.
Drink: Redudant combination of taste and feel.

Here at Two Parts Rye, our crack panel of experts, me, go by the tried and true method of I'm always right.  I have yet to disagree with any of my ratings.

There is one case where look is important.  Vino Verde.  It looks like bottled water.  Guess what it tastes like?

I'd like to buy a vowel Pat. I'll take a "W"

Tomas Watkin Cwrw Brâf  One of the "Great Ales of Wales".

Web Stuff: CWRW BRAF - (koo-roo-bràrve)

Cwrw Braf is a clean-drinking, amber-coloured ale with a light bitterness and gentle hop aroma.

A session bitter yet, with all the flavours and quality you would expect from a Tomos Watkin premium ale.

ABV 4.2%

Apparantly in Wales, vowels are optional.  It's an English Bitter.  Does anyone else think that English Bitters taste sweet?  It's drinkable, but I like my beers to have a bit more bite.  Especially when they call themselves bitter.

Grade: B-

The Session #40: The Session

This months session is being hosted by Erik at Top Fermented.  The topic is session beer, a session about session, it's tripping me out.  Or maybe it's the fact that I just spent the day at the zoo with 5 toddlers and an infant.  Either way, I approve of session beer, and now that everyone is asleep, I'm enjoying a few brews myself.

Nigl Brut de Brut 2007

This is a quite tasty sparkler from Austria.  A blend of grüner and chardonnay.  This wine is tart, minerally, and rapidly disappearing from my glass.

Cost: $23.99
Grade: B

Wyoming is officially the lamest state in America

Google Analytics has spoken.

Wyoming is the only state that has not visited Two Parts Rye.