The Power Wry Week 13, Brrrr

The Power Rye, or Power Wry, depending on my mood and state of sobriety, is the most accurate ranking of college football available.  Each week, I feed all of the facts, figures, stats, scores and whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix.  Before I sober up, I pinch off a post.

This weeks ranking is brought to you by Larressingle Armagnac, thus ends the classy part of the ranking.

1. Ohio State (11-0) Beat Indiana 42-14.  It was pretty chilly, as a matter of fact, my balls just finished re-dropping.  Now you can sleep at night, secure in the knowledge that my balls are swinging low again.
2. Florida State (11-0) Beat Idaho 80-14.  The Vandals are a great mascot, but the Visigoths would have been better.  Also, the good team's QB might be going to jail.
3. Alabama (11-0) Beat Chattanooga 49-0.  Oh Bumpers!  People with toddlers should get that reference. 
4. Wisconsin (10-1 9-2) Beat Minnesota 20-7.  Seizure free.
5. Michigan State (10-1) Beat Northwestern 30-6.  Northwestern is like Batman.  Awesome at night, but during the day, they're just a wacko in pajamas wishing they were as cool as the Batkid.
6. Auburn (10-1) Did not play.  Glad to see that someone is playing quality football in Alabama.
7. Missouri (10-1) Did not play and still beat Mississippi 24-10.
8. Oklahoma State (10-1) Defeated the unstoppable juggernaut that is Baylor 49-17.

9-... discontinued.  Oregon got whooped by Rich Rod and will rejoiced because they will not have to settle for playing in the Rose Bowl.  Baylor, yep.  Johnny Secondary Violation sucked.  Stanford beat Cal, which is what happens when Cal is in a football stadium.

More cold picture fun!

Ask all you want, he's not throwing you the ball.

Ummph

So fast the snow melted, or the pics are out of order.

Power Wry Week 12, your team sucked it up too

The Power Rye, or Power Wry, depending on my mood and state of sobriety, is the most accurate ranking of college football available.  Each week, I feed all of the facts, figures, stats, scores and whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix.  Before I sober up, I pinch off a post.

Luke Fickel has really let himself go.

This weeks ranking is brought to you by 4 Roses 2013 Single Barrel.  I have heard that it is that good and it is that good.

1. Ohio State (10-0) Beat Illinois 60-35.  I was going to drop them to 4th, and then I watched the late games.
2. Florida State (10-0) Whipped Syracuse 59-3.  That sounds impressive until you realize that Syracuse only had 5 guys out there for their vaunted 2-3 zone.  Also Miami lost.  Again!
3. Alabama (9-0) Struggled against Mississippi State 20-7.  That sound you hear is another Miss St dropped pass.
4. Baylor (9-0) Beat Texas Tech 63-34.  Next week they play DeVry.
5. Wisconsin (9-1 8-2) Beat Indiana 51-3.  Sadly, it was not the Bo Ryan/Tom Crean duel to the death that we were all hoping for.
6. Michigan State (9-1) Beat Nebraska 41-28.  A Jim Bollman offense hung up 41 points and they were not playing Kent State?
7. Auburn (10-1) Beat Georgia 43-38.  Glad to see that someone is playing quality football in Alabama.
8. Missouri (9-1) Did not play.

In the land of also Ran, Clemson Beat Georgia Tech, who cares.  Texas A&M went to an autograph show.  South Carolina beat Florida 19-14 and it was Urban Meyer's fault.  Oregon beat Utah 44-21.  Stanford Lost to USC, but it doesn't count because they didn't play Stanford football this week.

Power Wry Week 11: It's homer time.

Is that a topless Brett Bielema
 or the Oregon football team?  I can't tell.

The Power Rye, or Power Wry, depending on my mood and state of sobriety, is the most accurate ranking of college football available.  Each week, I feed all of the facts, figures, stats, scores and whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix.  Before I sober up, I pinch off a post.

In honor of the Arkansas head coach, I am drinking boxed wine before lunch time.

1. Ohio State (9-0) Did not play, dramatically improving their strength of schedule.
2. Alabama (9-0) Beat LSU 38-17.  Nothing like beating a bunch of ex-cons coached by a mental patient.
3. Florida State (9-0) Beat Not a-Wake Forest 59-3.  Also, Miami lost to Va Tech invalidating all quality wins in the ACC.
4. Baylor (8-0) Beat Oklahoma! 41-12.  Great to see those rival high school teams get together.
5. Stanford (8-1) Beat Oregon 26-20.  Who says that you need a play book bigger than a post-it-note.
6. Wisconsin (8-1 7-2) Beat BYU 27-17.  You can't bring a group of clean cut kids with an  honor code to Madison Wisconsin and expect positive results.
7. Michigan State (8-1) Did not play, dramatically improving their strength of Schedule.
8. Missouri (9-1) Beat Kentucky 48-17.  Allegedly
9. Clemson (8-1) Did not play.  Isn't it great that we can go back to not giving two shits about Clemson?
10. Oregon (8-1) Lost to Stanford proving that they are soft.  Jelly belly soft.

Two Parts Rye Week 10: If the Play is the thing, where the hell was everyone?

The Power Rye, or Power Wry, depending on my mood and state of sobriety, is the most accurate ranking of college football available.  Each week, I feed all of the facts, figures, stats, scores and whiskey into the Power Rye ranking matrix.  Before I sober up, I pinch off a post.

This week's drink of choice is Glenmorangie Ealanta.  That is Gaelic for skilled and ingenious, like me.

Lifted from Eleven Warriors.

1. Oregon (8-0) Did not play.  OK
2. Alabama (8-0) Did not play.  Because they were in Texas and there was no fiddle in the band.
3. Florida State (8-0) Whipped up on the U 41-14.
4. Ohio State (9-0) Beat Purdue 56-0.  I like a school whose nickname is a shot and a beer.
5. Baylor (8-0) Did not play.  See Alabama.
6. Clemson (8-1) Defeated Virginia 59-10.  Another defeat for the tea party.
7. Wisconsin (8-1 7-2) Beat Iowa 28-9.
8. Oklahoma! (7-1) Did not play.  Not even their understudy was available
9. Michigan State (8-1) Defeated Michigan 29-6.  Congratulations, you are better than Penn State

10(a,b,c).  Texas A&M beat UTEP 57-6 which is the equivalent of not playing, Stanford did not play.  LSU did not play.

Also: Kid N Play did not play.  Marcy's Playground did not play.  Aerosmith just pushed play.  Thankfully, no white boys played funky music.  The Offspring came out an played.    We couldn't find Coldplay.