Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been a while. But the Baby Rye is on the move, which means I spend most of my free time playing goalie.
We'll count it down for the final poll.
We'll count it down for the final poll.
9. Arkansas. (10-3) Nanna-nanna-boo-boo. We beat you. PS. Scoop and score dipshit.
8. Oklahoma. (12-2) Defeated UConn 48-20. Before you start feeling proud of yourself, please keep in mind that Michigan beat UConn by 20.
7. Alabama. (10-3) Defeated Michigan St. 49-7. I was expecting an ass-whooping, but damn!
6. LSU (11-2) Defeated Texas A&M 41-24. Les Miles is my favorite crazy coach.
5. Wisconsin (11-2) Just hand the ball off on every play and you win. Bielema = Dumbass!
4. Stanford (12-1) Looking forward to being irrelevant again.
3. Ohio State (12-1) Defeated Arkansas 31-26. We are tattooing the victory in the record books, so that it cannot be removed in the future.
2. Oregon (12-1) Lost the national title game. That's about it.
1. Auburn (14-0) Defeated Oregon 22-19. They needed a fluke non-tackle and $200k, but dag gummit, they're the champs. As champions, I ask that a representative of the university contact me to collect your trophy. It's a customized bottle of Old Overholt, with your battle cry "Roll Tide" on the label. I promise that I won't revoke it when you have to give back that crystal football in a year or two.
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