Where in the world was World Wide Kev?

Where was WWK instead of Bob's this week?

Hints:

1. It's home of the greatest city wide pre-event party that I have ever slept off.
2. Bourbon
3. Moonshine
4. Muhammad Ali
5. Baseball bats

Answer? Louisville Kentucky.  The night before the Kentucky Derby is absolutely wild.  All of the dregs of society come out for a bender, and crawl back under their rocks when the sun comes up.  After that, the ladies with the big hats show up.  The semi-dregs (me in 1990) go to the infield and drink crappy mint juleps.

Quilmes

Quilmes is a pilsner from Argentina that was a hit from the Bob's world tour days.  $6MMm and I knocked a couple back while his wife whipped us at pool last night.  As you can see, Quilmes is an instant party.

Grade: B

Drafts From the Cultural Hub of the Midwest: Magic Hat #9

Can you tell that yesterday was my last day at work for the year?  The Big DIPA was a beer from last week.  I learned the painful way that you don't get 3 big mugs at Bob's.

Web Stuff:  #9 — Not Quite Pale Ale


A beer cloaked in secrecy. An ale whose mysterious and unusual palate will swirl across your tongue and ask more questions than it answers. Just how much wood could a woodchuck cuck?  What is chucking wood?  A sort of dry, crisp, refreshing, not-quite pale ale. #9 is really impossible to describe because there's never been anything else quite like it.

Sounds like a bunch of hocus pocus:  It is a very odd beer.  It feels viscous.  I describe the texture as buttery.  It also has a peach flavor.  Odd, but good.
 
Grade:  B+

Kulmbacher Eisbock

I finished my 312 last night and thought that I'd chase it with a bottle.  I looked at the board to see what the current featured beers are.  Eisbock.  Rings a bell.  A nice light German beer is just what the doctor calls for.

Whoops!  Ice bock is a style of brewing in which the beer is partially frozen in order to remove the water.  This creates a high alcohol, dense beer.  It's very malty.  If that's your thing, you'll like this one.  Still not my thing.

Grade: C+

Drafts From the Cultural Hub of the Midwest: Goose Island 312 Urban Wheat Ale

Web stuff: 
Brewmasters Notes:  Densely populated with flavor, 312’s spicy aroma of Cascade hops is followed by a crisp, fruity ale flavor delivered in a smooth, creamy body. This gives 312 a balance of flavor and refreshment that never fills you up and won’t let you down.

Recipe Information
Style: Urban Wheat
Alcohol by Volume: 4.2%
International Bitterness Units: 20
Color: Hazy Straw
Hops: Liberty, Cascade
Malts: 2 Row, Torrified Wheat

The 411 on the 312:  This is always a beer that I have drank as a chaser.  Consequently, I've totally missed out on the subtleties of this beer.  It has a slight lemon flavor that is reminiscent of a shandy.  Very refreshing, even on a day when the walk to Bob's had me chilled to the bone.
 
Grade: B+

Drafts From the Cultural Hub of the Midwest: Heavy Seas Big DIPA

Web Stuff:
Big DIPA – Double IPA

Hops: 5 Kinds of Hops
Malts: 3 Kinds of Malts
ABV: 10.6%
IBU: 75.5

Big DIPA – Double IPA, is the first in the Heavy Seas Special Edition Series due to be released in mid June. Hopped 3 times in the brewing process, Big DIPA has an earthy hop aroma. In keeping with the Heavy Seas philosophy we've made a big beer with a surprising balance. The best part is that you’ll hardly notice it’s 10.6% ABV (est). The label artwork was created by Kurt Krol, one of our brewers who also helped to develop the recipe.

How does it taste?  It starts out sweet and floral with a slightly bitter aftertaste.  A few more sips later and the bitterness starts to dominate the beer.  Fortunately, after a few more ounces, the 10.6% ABV "that you'll hardly notice" kills the bitterness and it goes back to being a pleasant drink for a pleasant buzz.  It's the taste bud version of beer goggles.
 
Grade:  A-

Overheard during Monday Night Football

Tirico:  Handling the ball is like a rock right now.
Jaws: It, it, it, it's hard and it's slippery.  I mean there's a little bit of... uh dew on the turf.  The ball is cold.  In fact, we were grabbing some balls and they were slipping out of our hands.  Hands not as quick as Brett Favre.

Easy fellas.  It's a family show.

Now we know how they stay warm in Minnisota

William Penn Colonial Style Lager

The beer distributor in PA told BHC that this beer is just like Yuengling, but better.  It's not and it's not.  It's very sweet, like a glass of carbonated barley syrup.  If you are a fan of sweet, malty beers.  Check it out.  I'm not, so....

Grade: C

(The "like Yuengling but better quote" was originally attributed to BHC's dad, and it's been corrected.)

Goose Island Summertime

Yes, it's the end of December, and as I type, it's snowing.  I'm sure that you will understand if I'm in the mood to say that Id rather be at a place called Goose Island.  For my imaginary purposes, Goose Island is a tropical paradise in the South Pacific.   Therefore, it's summer there.

Web stuff:

Brewmasters Notes:  The color of sunshine I remember the sun.  Can't say that I expect to see if for a few months, with a light fruity aroma ahh, the infamous beer fruit rears it's head again and a hint of fruity acidity, Goose Island Summertime is the perfect summer session ale. A Kölsch beer brewed in the traditional German fashion, you’ll find yourself enjoying and savoring each sip of summertime as much as you do those hot summer days and cool summer nights.

Style: German Style Kölsch
Alcohol by Volume: 4.7%
International Bitterness Units: 20
Color: Sunshine
Hops: Mt. Hood, Saaz
Malt: 2 Row, Wheat

What's Kölsch beer?  Kölsch is a local beer speciality, brewed in Cologne, Germany. It is a clear beer with a bright straw-yellow hue, and it has a prominent, but not extreme, hoppiness. It is less bitter than the standard German lager beer, Pilsner. Furthermore, Kölsch is top-fermented at a relatively warm temperature (13 to 21°C, or 55 to 70°F) and then cold-conditioned, or lagered.

How does it really taste Mr. Sunshine?  Disappointing.  It's just another beer.  I expect better from Goose Island.

Cost: $7.99 6 pack
Grade: C
Cost Adjusted Grade: C

Two Parts Wry Observations: Ravens at Steelers

Whoops

The Steelers are still alive, but just barely.  They got a lot of help from the Ravens yesterday as they collectively shot themselves in the leg. AKA, pulled at Plaxico.

They need two of these 3 things to happen.  Raiders beat the Ravens (Won't happen).  Bengals beat the Jets (Look for the Bengals to rest their starters.  Therefore, not gonna happen.)  New England beats Houston.  (See Bengals vs Jets.)  This is what happens when you lose to the Browns, Raiders, and Chiefs.

Special thanks to the Colts for being a bunch of quitters.  You are undefeated, winning the game, and pull your starters.  A gutless move that will result in watching the Super Bowl from home again for the Colts.

Hey! It's getting late.

Merry Christmas from Two Parts Rye!
It is Christmas Today!

Columbus is Officially out of Christmas Ale

It's gone from the stores.  Bob's has emptied it's last keg.  Mobs of crazed Christmas Ale drinkers are roaming the streets looking for the last tasty drop of the season.  I've tried giving them egg nog and it has no effect.  Only more Christmas Ale, or a good nights sleep can cure them. 

World Wide Kev is Jonesing

Yuengling Traditional Lager

BHC gave me a mixed six of PA beers that you can not get in Ohio.  The first up is Yuengling.  America's oldest, continually operating brewery.  Everyone likes Yuengling.  It's lack of availability in Ohio is always perplexing.  I've had it on tap in Nashville, at a Titans game of all places.

It's a nice clean, crisp lager.  Not sweet, not to bitter.  It goes down easy.  A great session beer.  Especially on NFL Sundays.

Grade: B+

What in the world is... Fernet Branca?

Bill Cosby Explains it best...

How does it taste?  It smells minty, and you think to yourself: "How bad can it be?"  Then you drink it.  It's not as bad as Bill Cosby describes it.  It is harsh.  It tastes like wood, mint and pepper.  Not a great combo.  In Argentina, they drink it with cola and it's somewhat refreshing.  Add a squeeze of lime and it's even better.

Unibroue Trois Pistoles

Web stuff:  Brewed with four selected malts and four exotic spices, Trois Pistoles beckons with a subtle sweetness that makes it surprisingly smooth and satisfying for a beer of such strength and complexity. Its cocoa and fruit notes make it an ideal dessert companion to semi-sweet and dark artisan chocolates.

Trois Pistoles (Three Coins) is named after a small village in the region of Les Basques in Québec.  Founded over 300 years ago, Trois Pistoles gave birth to several legends, including one about a sailor who dropped his tumbler overboard and exclaimed, "Trois Pistoles!" in reference to its worth in old Spanish currency.

Another, the Legend of the Black Horse, involved a local bishop who conjured up a good devil (appearing in the form of bridled black steed) to haul large brick stones to construct a new church. When someone accidentally removed the bridle, the black horse suddenly vanished just as the last remaining stone was to be set. This stone is still missing, as can be seen when visiting the village church in Trois Pistoles.

Enjoy this beer as an after-dinner drink or you can bundle it with a gift box of dark chocolate truffles or semi-sweet chocolate bars.  Winner of 6 Gold and 1 Silver Medals from the Beverage Testing Institute since 1998.

How does it taste?  After first sip, Gross.  I don't like Belgian style beers.  (I know that this beer is from Quebec),   It's the yeast.

After the second sip, it's still gross.  In the early days of the blog, I used to have a topic called rapid fire fridays.  There is a store in our neighborhood that has wine and beer tastings every weekend.  During a few of these fridays, I noticed that I actually liked belgian style beers if I was drinking it after I had tried a bad red wine.  I've tried drinking a small glass of good red wine (I don't buy bad reds), and it had not helped. 

After the third sip.  It's ok, but it's probably because I'm getting buzzed.  I reason that it's got to be the tannin in the wine that makes the beer work for me.  So I grab Sauza Anejo Tequila, which is very tannic.  Sip half a shot and try again.  I almost can't taste the yeast.  Let's try another sip of tequila.  I swish it around like mouth wash.  I sip the beer and it still tastes bad.  What to try next...

Hey, look at the post time.

Update!  Serveral minutes after the original post.  I am now tasting a nice deep prune flavor.  I can also feel my eyebrows grow and no longer need glasses.

Cost:  Mix and Match 6 pack. It was a gift, I would not intentionally buy this.
Grade: D

Two Parts Wry Observations: Steelers vs GB

A lot of so called experts will tell you that Mike Tomlin made a foolish gamble by attempting an on-side kick with less than 4 minutes in the game when the Steelers had a 2 point lead.  Those idiots have not been paying attention.  When it happened, I liked the call.  BHC liked the call.  Troy Aikman did not.  We can forgive him, he's been hit in the head a lot.

Once again, the Steelers secondary folded like a cheap card table.  However, this time, the offense had over two minutes to drive down the field and Ben pulled another victory from his tush by hitting Mike Wallace with a tip-toe catch in the end zone.

Their playoff chances are slightly closer to slim than none.  They need to win out (slim chance), they need the Eagles to beat the Broncos (Highly likely) , New England to beat Jacksonville. (Likely), and god knows what else.  I hope that they make it.  However, when you lose to the Browns, Raiders, and Chiefs, don't be surprised when you end up staying home in January.

Two Parts Rye: House Bourbon Challenge McAfee's Benchmark

This isn't really part of the challenge.  This bourbon was bought for a purpose.  Instead of the artificial, glow in the dark, sugar bomb, not really a cherry, marischino cherries that you buy in the grocery store, I prefer to rehydrate dried cherries in bourbon and use those in my Manhattan. 

It's the holidays, so I was looking for something inexpensive, but palatable.  I've never had Benchmark before.  It's label says that it is made by Buffalo Trace.  It can't be too bad.  Can it?

It has a more rye in it than the Trace, which gives it a bit more bite.  It also tastes thinner.  In other words, there's not much else going on flavor wise.  It's not great, but I was not searching for great.  I was searching for adequate.

It makes a piss-poor Manhattan.
 
Cost: $8.95
Grade: C
Cost Adjusted Grade: B
Manhattan Grade: D

Full Sail Wassail

Web Stuff:  A few unmistakable signs tell us when winter has arrived here in Hood River. The waterfalls in the Gorge start kicking out the jams. The snow report for the backcountry regains its hold over us. And the Wassail starts flowing once again. We’ve brewed Wassail every holiday season since 1988, and it’s now as much a part of the festivities as sharing a roaring fire with our closest family and friends. A deep mahogany color, Wassail is brewed with four different malts and a blend of Pacific Northwest hops, giving it a malty full body and a pleasantly hoppy finish that appeals to both hop and malt lovers alike. In other words, a Christmas miracle.

Time for the airing of the grievances!  First of all, wassail is a spiced punch made with juices, nutmeg, cinnamon, etc.  It doesn't have anything to do with beer.  They could have been clever and called it Wass-Ale, but they didn't.  It's a thin boring brown ale that is too bitter and has no complexity.  These numb-nuts don't know what the hell they're doing. 

Drinking two of these would require a Festivus miracle.

Cost: Mix & Match 6 pack
Grade: C-

Breckenridge Avalanche

Web Stuff:  Subtlety. That's what makes our Avalanche amber ale such a treat. We blend pale and caramel malts – and just a kiss of bittering hops – to create a refreshing-but-flavorful, any-time beer. Aromas of pale grains, a semi-sweet middle and a clean-as-Colorado-snow finish make this our best-selling beer.

How does it really taste?  I feel like I'm in a slump.  I keep drinking beers that are accurately described by their marketing department.  What am I going to make fun of?  I guess "clean-as-Colorado-snow" cries out for me to say that clean snow is not yellow.  I just can't make myself stoop that low. 

It's another good session beer.  Good flavor, but not overpowering.

Cost:  Mix & Match 6 pack
Grade: B

Guinness 250 Anniversary Stout

This one will be quick.  It's everything that you love about Guinness, but better.  Guinness is the beer that taught you just what the hell stout is supposed to taste like.  Dark, bitter, but not heavy.  Love it.

Cost: Mix & Match 6 pack
Grade: A-