Two Parts Wry Observations NFL Week 4 Preview, Steelers Drinking Game

These things tend to evolve over time so expect updates to the rules from Time To Time.

1. One person is designated as the McNutty.  If you have a girls cowboy hat available, the McNutty should wear it.  Every time Ben gets sacked, the McNutty gets to hand out 9 drinks and designates someone else to be the McNutty.
2. The Harrisson hold rule.  If James Harrisson gets held, everyone must yell "Hold!"  The last person to yell drinks.  If a flag is thrown, no one drinks.
3. The poop shoot rule.  Drink once for every penalty called on Willie Colon.
4. Throw the damn ball rule.  Drink once for every time Ben pump fakes.  This should average 3 drinks per pass play.
5. Hands of stone rule.  Drink twice for every time Ike Taylor drops an easy interception.  Drink 3 times if he catches it.
6. The stop being a pussy rule.  Drink 3 times when the Steelers attempt a field goal from inside the 10 yard line.  5 times from inside the 5.  Finish your drink if it's from the 1 yard line.
7. The slow developing run play rule.  Drink everytime the backside linebacker or end goes unblocked and blows up Parker/Mendenhall/Moore in the backfield.
8. The 86 rule.  Drink everytime Hines lights someone up.
9. The softee-D rule.  Drink when our db's give a 10 yard cushion allowing an easy completion.
10. The Troy rules.  Drink every time Polamalu overruns a tackle and whiffs.  When injured, drink each time TV shows him on the sideline while the defense is getting picked apart.  Drink every time you feel uncomfortable while watching his Head & Shoulders commercials.

Two Parts Wry Observations: There are two times of the year.

Football season, and waiting for football season.

This post is going to be all over the place. Plus, I can't believe that it took me three months to come up with Two Parts Wry.

The good ole Buckeyes are probably going to get smacked around by USC again this Saturday night. What better way to dull the pain then by playing the Brent Musberger drinking game. Some rules will have to be updated, such as "Gary my man", will be replaced "Herbie my man." I went to the OSU vs Navy game with my friend World-Wide-Kev last weekend. After watching that near debacle, I'm feeling good about staying home on Saturday night.

UPDATE! I felt good about staying home on Saturday night until I was offered a ticket. Thank you Sue. There has been one thing missing from these heart-breaking big game ass-kickings. Me. I was planning on keeping track of how many drinks someone would have to take playing the Brent game. There's always OSU v PSU.

In the "eww-gross but I would still try it" category, read this. Sake used to be made the same way, but now they use a mold spore to break down the starches. I'm more interested in this quote. "The last thing we want is some guy who came in from Ohio sitting there with his $18 crab cakes, sees a bunch of adults spitting in their hands." This guy from Ohio is more worried about what kind of New England chowder-head charges $18 for a fucking crab cake?

My fantasy football draft was last week. My team is the San-toke-io's, named after Super Bowl MVP, OSU alum, Santonio "fits the description" Holmes. I did not have a 4:20tini during the draft. I managed to grab the team's name-sake in the 6th round. Throw in Chad Ochocinco in the 5th round, Chris "Pussy", I mean "Beanie" Wells in the 4th, and Brett Favre in the 15th, I got myself a veritable Island of Misfit Toys.

Managed to work drinking into each topic. Not too shabby.