Wry Slamma Jamma: Joakim Noah is a Klingon

A chick Klingon...

Enjoy the offseason punk.

I have to admit, that he's a much better pro than I thought he'd be.

Cinnamon Infused Rye

Several years ago I read an article in the New York Times about how they were reviving the tradition of making rye whiskey at Mount Vernon, the home of George Washington.  In the article, it mentioned that Washington made cinnamon extracts with his rye, and I had to try it.

What Washington probably didn't do was throw it in a jar and completely forget about it for a few years.  I broke it out tonight, and boy oh boy is this dangerous.  It tastes like pure cinnamon.  Kind of like Firewater without the heat.  It pours an interesting ruby color and turns cloudy when ice is added.  I made a Manhattan with it, replacing the Angostura with Fee's Orange Bitters.  I'm going to have to do this again on a larger scale (I only had a few shots in a tiny jar), and not forget about it this time.  You should give this one a try yourself.

Wry Observations: Fatherhood

The Baby Rye arrived a couple of weeks ago.  I find that the early days of parenthood leave you feeling like you've been on a 6 day bender.  You're incoherent, dehydrated and smelly.

Don't worry my faithful reader.  My liver may be healing, but I'll still be supplying smart-assed reviews and sports observations.  In case your wondering, the boy's favorite cocktail is the slippery nipple.  Isn't that right buddy?

Not funny Dad.

Fraoch Heather Ale

Web stuff: Brewed in Scotland since 2000 B.C. heather ale is probably the oldest style of ale still produced in the world. From an ancient Gaelic recipe for "leann fraoich" (heather ale) it has been revived and reintroduced to the Scottish culture.

Into the boiling bree of malted barley, sweet gale and flowering heather are added, then after cooling slightly the hot ale is poured into a vat of fresh heather flowers where it infuses for an hour before being fermented.

A light amber ale with floral peaty aroma it's not peaty at all, full malt charachter, a spicy herbal flavour and dry wine like finish.
 
How does it really taste?  I guess it tastes like heather, which doesn't tell you much does it?  The heather replaces hops, making for a mild, smooth, floral, and slightly sweet beer.
 
It's quite pleasant, but not an everyday drink.
 
Grade: B+

The Power Wry: Steelers Gone Wild Part II

Betty Crocker got traded.
Ben's a slimeball. (allegedly, yeah right)
Jeff Reed gets the franchise tag?

Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy

I with that I had more to say about this beer, it's one that I enjoy and I was excited to see that it's been released so early this year.  It's a light bodied beer mixed with lemonade.  It's slightly lemony, very sessionable at 4.2% abv, and drinks quickly.  I plan on drinking many, many of these this summer.

Cost: $8.99 6/pack
Grade: B+

The Power Wry: Betty Crocker Edition

Rumor has it that San-toke-io Holmes could get suspended 4 games this season for tweeting "Time to Wake and Bake".  If he is suspended, then Commissioner Goodell has gone too far.  What's wrong with being a dedicated pastry chef in the offseason?

San-toke-io is very dedicated to his art.  Not only does he bake first thing in the morning, he also bakes again at 4:20 in the afternoon.  He's so dedicated that I think that his new nickname should be Betty Crocker.

Update!  Hours after I post, the Steelers gave Holmes away for a 5th round pick to the Jets.

Drafts From the Cultural Hub of the Midwest: Bear Republic Apex, CBC Uncle Rusty

Bear Republic Apex

Web Stuff:  Strong IPA


ABV: 7.5% IBU: 100+ Color: Light Copper

Crafted with a blend of American and English malts and aggressively hopped with Pacific Northwest hops, this beer reflects what our brewers believe to be the Apex of IPA.
 
7.5%.  Now I know why I woke up drunk at 3 am.  The bitterness is just right.  It has a honey flavor that lingers through the finish.  Very tasty.
Grade: B+ 
 
Columbus Brewing Company Uncle Rusty
 
This is the April "hop odyssey" beer from CBC.  It's an imperial red ale.  An imperial huh, now I really know why I woke up at 3 am drunk.  It's pretty good, probably the best of the "hop odyssey" beers to date.  The hops are fresh, unlike the creeper and arnold, which tasted musty.  Nothing complex, just good flavor.
 
Grade: B

Blue Moon Grand Cru 2009

I'll make it simple.  It's just like Blue Moon, but unfiltered and higher in alcohol content.  It's not complex, but very drinkable, which is dangerous at 8.5% abv.  To be fair, I should taste test it next to the normal blue moon, but who drinks blue moon at home?  It's a beer you get on tap at a restaurant.

Cost: $9.99
Grade: B
Cost Adjusted Grade: C+

It's all about Da Bling

Buckeye Brewing Company Bling Bling Pale Ale

British malt, torrified wheat, amarillo hops

Why is the wheat so afraid?  It is not afraid. The wheat is pre-gelatinized, giving a higher yield, increased foam and a longer head retention.

Who wouldn't want that?

Bling: $5.99
Grade: Big up yourself

Magic Hat Vinyl Spring Lager

Web shenanigans: Scrumptious Spring Lager

Vinyl sails in on her shining wings as the spinning sun returns. She is the season-shifter, bursting from her cocoon to sing the ancient song of vernal yearning and to summon spring's sweet green return... Her metamorphosis becomes our own. Her thirsts are shared by all. Drink in her mysterious elixir as the revolution blooms again... Visit Vinyl!

Trippy:  This beer was not what I expected.  For some reason, I thought that a spring beer would be light and fruity like a summer beer.  This is by no means a heavy beer, but it does remind me of an Octoberfest/Fall style beer.  Since spring is fall in reverse, I guess that makes sense.
 
Cost: $8.99 6/pack
Grade: B

Beware of Blogger In Draft

Google put out a new tool that gives you more control over your blog layout.  However, the preview and reality do not match up.  That wouldn't be a big deal if my favorite template was still available.  Shit.  I'll be fucking around with this all night.  I miss you minima stretch right.

Update.  OK, not all night.